Romance scam alert! Signs to watch out for

As Valentine’s Day approaches and swipes on the apps see an uptick, we ask experts about the signs to watch out for when connecting with a potential date

Finding the right match on a dating app can be tricky and unpredictable and the latest documentary The Tinder Swindler is the cautionary tale of how it can go wrong. The true-crime OTT release sheds light on the dark side of online dating as it tells the story of a conman catfishing and tricking women on a dating app into giving him millions of dollars. But a little caution can go a long way to avoid such romance scammers.

As Valentine’s Day approaches and swipes on the apps see an uptick, we ask experts about the signs to watch out for when connecting with a potential date.

Before swiping right

Check that person on their social media handles and see if you feel comfortable and convinced. If you find a lot of private or hidden stuff, stay away. If possible, add them to your social media. Moreover, one should stay away from profiles that give off excessively positive or negative vibes as both are extreme cases. An apparently positive person might be going out of their way to hide their true self and a negative seeming one could be too comfortable with the dark side. It should be a mix, balanced and real.

Behaviour and beliefs are the key factors to notice in your initial conversations. Watch out for instances where words don’t match actions as that’s a definite red flag. Pay close attention to their narrative to see if it is consistent or constantly changing.

Going on a date

When meeting someone for the first time (or even on the initial few dates), focus on the differences, instead of the similarities. In our quest to find a connection, we often overlook the differences that bring out the authentic picture. Always meet in a well-known public place.

After the meeting

Do not let your fanciful dreams about dating cloud your vision. The biggest mistake most people commit is to look for what their ideas of romance looks like, instead of looking clearly at the behaviour exhibited by the person you are meeting. If you see any red flags, please block the person right away.

(With inputs from relationship coach Ashish Sehgal and psychologist Pulkit Sharma)