Overcoming defensiveness: 7 tips for better communication in your relationships

Defensiveness can hinder healthy communication in relationships. Here are seven practical tips to break down defensive barriers and improve dialogue.

Published on: Mar 15, 2024 6:00 AM IST

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“Dealing with defensiveness can be tough, but by understanding each other better and communicating gently, you can break down those barriers and grow closer as a couple. Remember, it's all about patience, understanding, and a willingness to work together to build a stronger relationship,” says Amanda Twiggs, Marriage Coach and Intimacy Expert in her recent Instagram post.  (Pexels )

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Understand where it's coming from: Defensiveness is a natural response when we feel threatened or criticised. (Pexels)

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Recognise the frustration: Getting defensive can make both of you feel frustrated and distant. (Pexels)

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Communicate gently: When you bring up concerns, do it in a way that's caring and not accusatory. (Pexels)

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Create a safe space: Make sure you both feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings without judgment. (Pexels)

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Think about the big picture: Consider what you both want out of the conversation and the relationship. (Pexels)

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Be fair: Be willing to make changes yourself and expect the same from your partner. (Pexels )

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Stay patient and understanding: Overcoming defensiveness takes time and effort, so be kind to each other as you work through it. (Pexels )