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Tuesday, Aug 20, 2019

Don’t let petty fights ruin your relationships

Constant squabbles over issues that don’t really matter hurt the relationship irrevocably.

sex-and-relationships Updated: Jul 29, 2019 18:20 IST
Samarth Goyal
Samarth Goyal
Hindustan Times, Delhi
Constant squabbles about things that mostly don’t matter can end up hurting a relationship.
Constant squabbles about things that mostly don’t matter can end up hurting a relationship.(Shutterstock)
         

It might be true that an argument here and a misunderstanding helps a relationship get stronger,
if you have been getting into regular fights over trivial issues such as not answering the phone, leaving the TV on, and the like, there’s time for a long and hard think.

Constant squabbles about things that mostly don’t matter can end up hurting a relationship.

Address your resentment

“There is a variety of reasons why couples end up fighting with each other often. Most common reason is some resentment that has been lingering in the past and there was no proper communication about that, and it ends up being discussed in a form of a petty fight,” says Dr Harsheen Arora.

Which is why it is important to communicate your hidden resentments and frustrations that you have towards your partner. When you communicate properly, explaining what upset or hurt you, more often than not, the partner will try to solve it.

Increased Work Pressure

“People vent out their work related frustrations on their partners, thinking that since they love them, they will understand their frustration,” says Dr Anil Sethi, a psychologist. That is a very irrational assumption to harbour. Your partner may be your safe place and even offer a welcoming space to express yourselves, they are not your punching bag. Ask for time to gather yourself or devise activities to chill out together.

Learn to say sorry

“One of the best ways to avoid any fight is to say sorry. Even if it’s not your mistake, and your partner is at fault, saying a sorry goes a long way to calm both of you down in a fight.”

“A person who accepts his mistake by saying sorry is a good human being, but a person who says sorry, even when it’s not their mistake is a better human being,” adds Dr Sethi.

Don’t respond in anger

If one of the partners in a relationship is short-tempered, the other partner should try to avoid reacting in a similar way.

Even if it’s a small issue, the partner should be able to tackle that complaint in the most tactful of ways.

For example, consider saying ‘I know you care but I was upset when you did this’, instead of ‘You hurt me’.

samarth.goyal@htlive.com

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First Published: Jul 28, 2019 14:46 IST

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