Father’s day special: For dads with an empty nest

You may be living alone now, but this Father’s Day, light up your dad’s life again. Here’s how to get him out of the loneliness.

It’s a bittersweet moment for any parent to see their child leave the house for the first time, be it for higher studies or for living on their own. On one hand, parents feel a sense of pride, on the other they start to feel lonely. Parent’s inability to deal with the absence of their child and the related grief is known as empty nest syndrome (ENS).

In Piku (2015), the protagonist’s father isn’t too keen on her getting into a serious relationship, as it might mean her moving away.

On Father’s day, as a tribute to dads across the world — many of whom are not as expressive as mothers — we got in touch with experts to know how children can help their fathers to deal with empty nest syndrome.

Expert take

According to psychologist Priyanka Varma, “symptoms of ENS include mood swings, crying, feeling of helplessness and isolation from people and relationship changes with their spouses; they tend to call and worry about their children all the time”.Experts also state that going through ENS is a natural phase in many parents life. “Cases of fathers suffering from ENS is on a dramatic rise in India, as more children are moving out of their homes. And, in the midst of their demanding schedules, children tend to neglect their ageing parents”, says psychologist Pulkit Sharma.He adds, “Dads tend to express their emotions less than mums because of [the assumed] difference in gender roles.” Well, who knows what Chaudhary Baldev might be hiding while clutching Simran’s hand in Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge (in the climax scene of the 1995 film).

Here’s what you can do

Arrival of surprise: While you may not welcome a surprise visit from dad, yours will amaze them. Break the monotony of their daily routine and they will welcome you with open arms and you can even plan a short family vacation, once home.

Tech talk with dad: Remember how Rani skyped with her papa in ‘Queen’? Teach them the technology we use today — video call, email and online shopping, etc. It’s good to be in touch 24 x 7, and they’ll feel more connected to into your generation.Experts suggest that sons watch sport shows together with their father through video calls, even if they live at a distance.

Throwback father’s day: Tune into Mohd Rafi and Bonie M, write a letter to Papa, go through embarrassing childhood pictures, watch Baghban, if not anything else...Old will remain Gold. While some may feel a little awkward, majority of parents rejoice when they go through memories, and reminiscing old memories is a delight
for them.

Engaged and excited: Go for a fun activity together — a meal, a culinary class, a massage, a walk in nature, etc. Also, according to experts, positive feelings is generated when parents going through ENS do some philanthropic work

Nothing is lost: When fathers suffer from ENS, there is a loss of validation and appreciation. Fathers feel that they have lost their influence on their children. Remind them time to time that you’re applying what they taught and seek help from their experiences, make them feel wanted and comforted.

Life of interests: Get your dad to rekindle his interest in hobbies that once excited him. Also, encourage them to take new hobbies such as photography or gardening.