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Cyrus Broacha’s relationship advice: Wines mature with age; people not necessarily so

Updated on: Feb 2, 2019, 11:14:43 IST
Hindustan Times, Delhi | By
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Relationships can be a tricky affair, which is why we have Cyrus Broacha to give you some handy advice. (Unsplash)
Relationships can be a tricky affair, which is why we have Cyrus Broacha to give you some handy advice. (Unsplash)
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From navigating relationship trouble to helping your love life go the distance, Cyrus Broacha’s got all the dating advice you need.

PS, amongst the silliest questions ever asked in the history of questions was ‘Am I black or white?’ (Michael Jackson), ‘Who the #!*& is Alice?’ (Smoky), and your question. I don’t mean to be rude, but if you want a long-term relationship then isn’t it painfully obvious that ‘short-term’ men are a waste of time? So yes, and I’m saying ‘yes’ in three more languages to make it abundantly clear. Yes, Da, Ha, Si. Please stop selling yourself short. Be clear with all the morons, that you want to play five-day test cricket. It’s like my friend Jay Prakash, who went to a shop to buy a television, and instead bought a radio. You want a television. Stay on course for a television. Remember you can’t watch a radio.

The celtic emperor Plaguing the XI-and-a-half ruled an empire of 400 sq km. For celtic kings, it was customary to personally meet all citizens on every second Thursday of the month. Plaguing the XI-and-a-half was painfully shy, and hated social contact. To overcome his problem, he came up with a plan. He first got himself some goldfish and then learnt to interact with them. He actually trained his goldfish to fetch grains of rice in the water. He then moved to cats. Then dogs. Then vertically challenged people, and finally his citizens. GD, first try talking to girls you know, distant relatives, bank tellers, Siri, telemarketers... build some confidence. The trick is not to think of the result; just talk. From mindless chatters are born great conversations, (er, so I’ve been told). By the way, Plaguing the XI-and-a-half never actually overcame his fear of social contact; instead he came up with a brilliant solution. He removed Thursday from the celtic calendar.

RK, although I’ve enjoyed 4,786 relationships in, only four of these cases did the girls actually know I existed. However, there is a school of thought, (and this school is located on the banks of the Brahmaputra in Assam), that believes that communication is the highest form a relationship can take. Higher even than physical intimacy, or even joint bank accounts. By this logic, this girl may be closer to you than you think. I mean connecting before work, during work, and after work is a lot. Also, when do you actually do any work? As for my advice, since she has a boyfriend, play it cool. Don’t propose. Just keep the communication going. Believe me, you are gaining on him every day. Play it cool, and automatically the continental shift should happen.

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Catch your daily dose of Fashion, Taylor Swift, Health, Festivals, Travel, Relationship, Recipe and all the other Latest Lifestyle News on Hindustan Times Website and APPs.
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