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Chinese woman calls off wedding, shocks ex-fiance by demanding $4,200 ‘hugging fee’
A Chinese woman sparked backlash after demanding a $4,200 “hugging fee” from her ex-fiance.
A woman in central China has drawn widespread attention on social media after demanding a “hugging fee” from her former fiance following the cancellation of their wedding.
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According to Henan TV, cited by the South China Morning Post (SCMP), the woman initially agreed to return a betrothal gift of 200,000 yuan (US$28,000) but insisted on keeping 30,000 yuan (US$4,200) as compensation for “hugging”.
As per the outlet, it is customary in China for a groom’s family to offer a betrothal gift, or engagement offering, to the bride’s family before marriage as a token of goodwill and gratitude.
The engagement that never reached the altar
The couple, both from Pingdingshan in Henan province, met last year through a matchmaker and became engaged in January, planning to marry in November. Like many couples, they took pre-wedding photographs, and the groom’s family had even booked a hotel for the wedding and informed their relatives.
However, the woman abruptly called off the marriage, reportedly because she found the man “too honest” and believed his income was insufficient. “The woman thought the man was too honest and had too little income,” said the matchmaker, surnamed Wan, who spoke to local media.
“In terms of the betrothal gift, she said she was willing to return it but would keep 30,000 yuan as a ‘hugging fee’,” Wan added. “I have introduced 1,000 couples in the past decade. Her family is the most picky one I have encountered. Her demand for a 30,000 yuan reduction is immoral.”
Negotiation and public backlash
Wan clarified that the alleged “hug” occurred only because the photographer had asked the couple to pose that way during the pre-wedding photo shoot. The woman, however, maintained that the deduction also covered “expenses incurred while hanging out together.”
After negotiations, both families agreed that the woman would return 170,500 yuan (US$24,000) to the man.
The wider custom of betrothal gifts in China
Betrothal gifts, which can range between 100,000 and 500,000 yuan (up to US$70,000), are a longstanding cultural tradition in China and often place heavy financial pressure on the groom’s family. According to SCMP, rural families are generally required to offer higher amounts because of a gender imbalance that makes it harder for men to find brides.
Last year, another man in Hunan province took a woman and her father to court after they refused to return a betrothal gift of 230,000 yuan (US$32,000). Although the court ordered repayment within 15 days, the family failed to comply, prompting the man to go to the media in an effort to recover his money.
