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What is ‘Shrekking’? All about the new dating trend that sounds innocent but is not
The dating term “Shrekking” is inspired by the animated film Shrek and takes inspiration from the relationship between the two main characters, Shrek and Fiona.
A new-age dating trend has emerged, taking inspiration from the animated world of Shrek, but not in a way you would expect. “Shrekking” has taken over, drawing inspiration from the relationship between the ogre Shrek and his love interest, Princess Fiona. Though it sounds innocent and cute at first, the trend is exactly opposite. It is about being in a relationship with someone less attractive than you to find a “happy love life.” However, experts warn that getting “Shrekked” - lowering your standards for someone - can get you hurt and take a toll on your mental health.
“In this plotline, you're dating an ogre without the princess treatment,” Amy Chan, a dating coach and the author of "Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart”, told USA Today.
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"The term might be new, but the behavior isn’t," she continued, adding, "Plenty of people have put looks lower on the list or hoped attraction would grow over time, and that in itself isn’t a bad thing. Where it backfires is when someone assumes that just because they’re dating ‘down’ in looks, they’ll automatically be treated better."
Social media reacts:
People had a lot to say about this new-age dating term. An individual wrote, “Nothing starts an enduring relationship like acknowledging how hideous your partner is.” Another added, “If looks are the most important part of your relationship, neither will last.” A third posted, “Looks are really unimportant.”
What is the problem with “Shrekking”?
Chan told the outlet that “Shrekking” presented itself in the modern dating world as young people who feel disillusioned by dating often come up with new trends just to express their feelings.
"Modern dating has gotten so complicated that we need new words just to describe what's happening to us," she said. "It's like we've made dating struggles part of our public conversation in a way that just didn't happen before."
The first problem with “Shrekking” is that it is all about appearances, when in real life, how someone looks doesn’t reveal their character, reported the outlet. This trend will also discourage people from dating outside their usual type.
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"The idea is that you stepped outside your comfort zone, but instead of being rewarded with growth or connection, you wound up regretting the experience," Emma Hathorn, a relationship expert, told the outlet. "When two people are genuinely driven towards a similar goal and values, they can find an attraction in each other that surprises them and refutes the shallower factors like physical type and societal expectations."
What to do if you get “shrekked”?
“For those who've been 'Shrekked,' the goal isn't to retreat back to only dating conventionally attractive people; it's to develop better assessment skills for character, values and emotional availability regardless of what package they come in," Chan told the outlet, adding, "Physical attraction matters in romantic relationships, but it shouldn't be the inverse predictor of good treatment that some people assume it to be."
