Bollywood, misogyny aur womaniya: the absolute worse lines

This Bollywood na, it sometimes makes our blood boil. But kabhi kabhi, it also makes us so proud. This week, for International Women's Day, we take stock of some awful, some bad and some great filmi lines about women.

This Bollywood na, it sometimes makes our blood boil. Then there are times we just shake our heads in disdain. But kabhi kabhi, it also makes us so proud. This week, for International Women’s Day, we take stock of some awful, some bad and some great filmi lines about women. Behno, taiyyar ho jao!



The absolute worst lines

"Ek chutki sindoor ki keemat tum kya jano Ramesh babu. Ishwar ka aashirwad hota hai.. ek chutki sindoor! Suhagan ke sar ka taaj hota hai, ek chutki sindoor. Har aurat ka khwaab hota hai… ek chutki… sindoor!" ()



Okay, it’s a spoof but ye kya zabardasti hai?! It’s like Facebook insisting you get married by bombarding your newsfeed with shaadi photos and ‘look-at-my-bachcha’ photos. No I don’t want ek chutki sindoor, okay?!

"Har aadmi ke liye ek aurat hoti hai... Usse bach gaye, toh life ban jayegi" ()

Aadmi ki nahi, aurat ki life ban jayegi. Good riddance for her!



"Mard kab peeta hai, kya peeta hai, kaise peeta hai, yeh jaankaari rakhna Bharatiya naari ki sabse important duty hai" (Aamdani Atthanni Kharcha Rupaiya)

This must be janhit mein jaari (issued in public interest) by the local theka. That is the only reasonable explanation for this

The off-putting lines from old filmi classics

"Betiyaan toh paraya dhan hoti hain. Unhe toh babul ka ghar chhodna hi hota hai" What if I don’t go? What if my babul is perfectly happy keeping me at home forever? Tab kya karoge, huh? "Uski koi toh kamzori hogi, koi maa ya behen?" Ya baap aur bhai? Ya gaadi ya ghar? Ya Facebook ya Twitter password? "Main tumhare bachche ki maa banne wali hoon" Naturally. According to biology, aap bachche ka baap toh nahi banne wali hain… why state the obvious?

But every once in a while B-town comes up with a line that makes the ladies feel all awesome and makes us want to proclaim ‘You Go Gurrrlll!!!’

"Ja, Simran, ja. Jee le apni zindagi" (Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge) On behalf of women everywhere, thank you, bauji. Life has never been the same since you let Simran run for that train and Raj ka haath

"Ye jism pyaar karna nahin jaanta. Jaanta hai toh sirf bhook. Jism ki bhook" (Jism) To all prudes, dissers and haters, we say, dekhiye ji, sabko bhook lagti hai. It’s only natural

"Aap mere pati hain. Parmeshwar banne ki koshish mat kijiye" (Mrityudand) If only Nandini ‘Jaya Bachchan’ Raichand had said this to Mr ‘Big B’ Raichand in K3G instead of that "mera pati, pati parmeshwar nahin" crap

"Main toh apni favourite hoon" (Jab We Met) So Geet got it right. Self-love is best love. Please heart yourself ladies log. In the words of Queen Bey – Who run the world? Girls!

From HT Brunch, March 2

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