Spice of life | Happiness is matter of choice, a state of mind

It’s said where attention goes, energy flows. If we focus on negativity, we will perpetually be unhappy despite having everything. The Missing Tile Syndrome is an obstacle to happiness

Life is all about making choices, whether it’s to do with major ones like the choice of career or life partner or to do with mundane issues like what to cook, what to wear, where to go or which movie to watch. While most of us are diligent about taking a host of small decisions in life, there is one choice that we are oblivious of. We don’t even realise that happiness is a matter of choice.

Strange as it may sound, but the fact is that no one can make us happy unless we take a conscious decision to be happy. (HT File)

Strange as it may sound, but the fact is that no one can make us happy unless we take a conscious decision to be happy. Despite having everything – name, fame, wealth, we may be disgruntled. Even in the pink of health, surrounded by family and friends, we may feel dissatisfied unless we develop an attitude of gratitude. Favourable external factors can help but nothing can make us happy unless we choose to be happy.

If happiness is to do with money, then all rich and prosperous people should be happy, which is not the case. There are people possessing everything required for a good living; but still unhappy. Material pleasure and possessions besides power and a luxurious lifestyle are not enough to keep a person in a state of perpetual happiness.

What about success? Does it not make us happy? It does. Appreciation, recognition and money associated with success contribute to happiness temporarily. However, it is erroneous to believe that success automatically makes us happier. Happiness doesn’t come merely by achieving a goal. Happiness, unlike success, is not to be achieved but to be cultivated.

Happiness is a positive emotion, a state of mind, an attitude to be developed. Whether we feel happy or unhappy, the choice is ours. It’s said where attention goes, energy flows. If we focus on negativity, we will perpetually be unhappy despite having everything. If we keep noticing a missing tile, always find one or the other reason to complain and crib about, we cannot stay happy. The Missing Tile Syndrome (focusing on what we don’t have and ignoring what we have) is a big obstacle to happiness. So big, in fact, that it makes happiness almost impossible.

Remember the lyrics of an old song, ‘Kabhi kisi ko mukkamal jahan nahin milta….’ No one’s life is perfect. There will always be some or the other thing missing in our life but how we perceive the deficiency is entirely our choice. The moment our attention is on the things missing, it is glass ‘half empty’, we feel miserable. However, if we focus on what we have, it is like a glass ‘half full’. The situation is the same but the attitude of gratitude makes us feel blessed and happy. When we start counting our blessings, we don’t have time to count our problems.

We must understand that happiness is a matter of choice, more to do with our mind, thoughts, feelings and attitude than with anything else. Instead of blaming our circumstances, situations and people for our unhappiness, let us take responsibility of our state of mind and decide to stay happy. The moment we start acting like life is a blessing, it starts feeling like one.

rama_1177@yahoo.co.in

The writer retired as an associate professor from MCM DAV College, Chandigarh