She’s a director, choreographer, wife, mother... and now a columnist for HT City. Read Farah Khan’s take on Bollywood every Monday on this page:
1 ‘I was only 13 when I did my first film.’
Sure, honey! And 20 years later, you’re still 23! Thirteen seems to be the lucky number when it comes to hiding your age. Sadly, I can’t even say that because I’d been tomtoming about how I made my acting debut at the good age of 47. Now, even heroines I’ve watched since school have become younger than me. My big mouth and me!
2 ’I never work out or diet. I’m just blessed with good genes.’
Yeah, right! Sadly, the only good genes my parents passed onto me are my sense of humour and my double chin! Back to our ladies — I’ve seen them starve and work out twice a day and really, they should just be proud of what they do to maintain their figures instead of dismissing it. Being human will only make you more likeable by the way. The only idiot who decided to lose weight after a movie was done is... guess who? Me, of course!
3 ’It’s a prawn allergy.’
This usually happens when they’re back from a long vacation with swollen lips. Obviously, the allergy also affects their boobs. Why oh, why? Why am I not allergic to anything? Why couldn’t I say that my flat tummy was caused by some ‘peanut allergy’?
4 (This one’s the most foolish of them all)
‘I’m dying to work with a big director like Sanjay Leela Bhansali or Karan Johar.’
Sure you are, darling, and so is everyone else! Chances are that these two may actually never want to work with you and you’ve also managed to irritate all the other directors who may have wanted to work with you in the past. Sabka ego hota hain, yaar. That’s why I’m maintaining that I’ll work with anyone who offers me a film next, though no one has taken this seriously till now.
4 (This one’s the most foolish of them all)
‘I’m dying to work with a big director like Sanjay Leela Bhansali or Karan Johar.’
Sure you are, darling, and so is everyone else! Chances are that these two may actually never want to work with you and you’ve also managed to irritate all the other directors who may have wanted to work with you in the past. Sabka ego hota hain, yaar. That’s why I’m maintaining that I’ll work with anyone who offers me a film next, though no one has taken this seriously till now.
5’We’re just good friends.’
In my case Boman (Irani) and I were trying to tell everyone that there was more than just friendship in our case (apparently it helps the film do better). But no one seemed to believe it. Guess I wasn’t cut out to be a heroine. It’s fine because I never liked the ‘doing your hair and makeup’ part anyway. I wouldn’t mind performing at awards ceremonies, though. Big bucks, you see!
DISCLAIMER: This column is to be taken with a big tongue in your cheek and dollops of humour. It’s with malice towards none and truth towards all.