Across many societies today, migration has become a familiar part of family life. Young people leave their hometowns and countries in search of better education, professional growth and financial stability. For many parents, seeing their children settle abroad is a source of immense pride. It represents success, sacrifice, and fulfilled hope. However, behind this pride lies a quieter, more painful reality. Many ageing parents are left behind to face loneliness, illness and the daily difficulties of old age without the regular presence of their children.
Old age brings many challenges. The body weakens, movement slows, and health problems become more frequent. Tasks that once seemed simple, such as going to the market, visiting the bank, collecting medicine or attending a doctor’s appointment, can become tiring and stressful. When children live nearby, they often provide practical help and emotional reassurance. But when children live abroad, even ordinary problems can become difficult to manage.
One of the most serious issues faced by elderly parents living alone is loneliness. Loneliness is not merely the absence of people around them. It is the feeling of being emotionally disconnected, unheard and unsupported. Many older people spend long hours alone at home, waiting for a phone call or a visit. Festivals, birthdays and family occasions, which once brought warmth and togetherness, may become reminders of distance and separation. Although video calls and messages can provide comfort, they cannot replace physical presence. A screen cannot hold a trembling hand, accompany a parent to hospital, or sit quietly beside them during a difficult evening.
This emotional isolation can have serious consequences. Loneliness may lead to sadness, anxiety, depression and loss of interest in daily life. Some elderly parents stop sharing their problems because they do not want to worry their children. They may say everything is fine even when they are struggling with pain, fear or helplessness. In many cases, their suffering remains hidden because they protect their children from guilt. This silence can deepen their loneliness even further.
{{/usCountry}}This emotional isolation can have serious consequences. Loneliness may lead to sadness, anxiety, depression and loss of interest in daily life. Some elderly parents stop sharing their problems because they do not want to worry their children. They may say everything is fine even when they are struggling with pain, fear or helplessness. In many cases, their suffering remains hidden because they protect their children from guilt. This silence can deepen their loneliness even further.
{{/usCountry}}Health care is another major concern. As people age, regular medical care becomes essential. Many older adults need frequent check-ups, blood tests, medicines and specialist consultations. However, visiting doctors can be extremely difficult for those who live without family support. They may have poor eyesight, joint pain, weakness, hearing problems or difficulty walking. Public transport may be crowded or inconvenient, while private transport may be expensive. Long waiting times at clinics and hospitals can be physically exhausting.
Modern health care systems also increasingly depend on technology. Appointments are often booked online, reports are sent digitally, and prescriptions may be managed through mobile phones. For many older people, these systems are confusing and intimidating. They may not know how to use apps, upload documents, confirm appointments or read medical instructions online. In such situations, the absence of children becomes more than an emotional gap; it becomes a practical barrier to health care.
There is also the fear of emergencies. A fall in the bathroom, sudden chest pain, dizziness, breathing difficulty or a minor accident can become dangerous when an older adult is alone. Many older people live with constant anxiety about what might happen if they fall sick at night or cannot reach the phone. This fear affects their confidence. Some avoid going outside, cooking alone or even bathing without worry. Their independence gradually becomes restricted by fear.
Daily responsibilities add another layer of difficulty. Paying bills, managing pensions, dealing with banks, repairing household items, buying groceries and handling official paperwork can become overwhelming. Some elderly parents rely on neighbours, distant relatives, domestic workers or paid caregivers. While many receive genuine help, this dependence can also create vulnerability. Older people living alone may be at risk of neglect, fraud, manipulation or emotional pressure. They may hesitate to complain because they fear losing the limited support they have.
The problem is not caused by migration alone. Children who live abroad often love their parents deeply and may provide financial support, make regular calls, and visit occasionally. Many also experience guilt and helplessness because they cannot be physically present. However, love from a distance cannot solve every problem. Money can pay for treatment, but it cannot sit in a waiting room with a parent. A phone call can provide comfort, but it cannot respond immediately to an emergency. This is the painful reality of transnational family life.
For this reason, the issue must not be treated only as a private family matter. It is also a social concern. Family structures are changing, joint families are becoming less common, and older people are living longer. Societies can no longer assume that children will always remain close enough to care for ageing parents. New systems of support are needed.
Communities have an important role to play. Neighbourhood groups, senior citizens’ associations, religious organisations and local volunteers can help reduce isolation by regularly checking on older adults who live alone.
Health care systems must also become more elderly-friendly. Hospitals and clinics should provide priority counters, simpler appointment procedures, home visits, transport support and assistance with digital services. Doctors and nurses should be sensitive to the fact that many elderly patients may not have family members accompanying them. Medical care must consider not only the illness but also the social conditions in which older people live.
Children living abroad also have responsibilities. Regular conversations should go beyond asking whether they are all right. Loneliness should not remain hidden behind the success stories of migration. A society is judged not only by how far its young people travel, but also by how well it cares for those who remain behind.
(The views expressed are personal)
This article is authored by Mousumi Roy, columnist, politics, culture and economic history.