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Wednesday, Oct 16, 2019

Who Wants To FU*K Up A Hunger Strike? (Politically Incorrect Version)

Ever wondered how a country can go from normal to SUPER FU*KED UP in a matter of seconds? Welcome to India then. The Fake Jhunjhunwala runs you through the procedure.

india Updated: Jun 29, 2011 13:24 IST
Fake Jhunjhunwala
Fake Jhunjhunwala
Hindustan Times

Ever wondered how a country can go from normal to SUPER FU*KED UP in a matter of seconds?

Welcome to India then.

Recently a shaggy haired orange clad Yogi called Baba Ramdev decided that Black Money was an issue. He showed up with his fans in Delhi and then the sh* hit the fan (no pun intended).

The Media took the ball and ran with it. Suddenly the country was interested. People did the Twitter and Facebook thing. Outrage everywhere. No one lit any candles which meant it wasn't serious enough but still it made the Headlines.

Baba Ramdev

The Baba got cocky and told the government to basically eat sh*t. The government got pissed and sent in the Delhi Police at midnight. The cops were even more hardcore than the US Army Seal Team 6 that killed Bin Laden. More drama.

You ask a 100 people about the hunger strike and you'll get a million responses and almost always the archetypical formula plays.

Question: What Do You Think of Baba Ramdev's Anti Corruption Hunger Strike?

Government Spokesman:

"Baba is a bas***d. Yoga dude is doing politics. This is as ridiculous as Daler Mehndi's brother Mika Singh designing India's next Communications Satellite."

Opposition Spokesman:

"Government sucks. Baba is a Hero and Youth Icon, Messiah and Deliverer of the Masses. We worship the ground he walks on. What a great man!! Divinity is Baba Ramdev."

Conspiracy Nut:

"I bet the Pakistanis are behind this. Baba is actually an Australian undercover agent who is being financed by the Americans with Chinese money borrowed from the French transporting it from Nepal to destabilize the Indian nation."

Harsha Bhogle Type Newspaper Editor:

"The resilient nature of the Indian Democracy is at play yet again wielding a charismatic Holy Man on a fast this time despite the almost Draconian move of the establishment to squash out any resistance against its own lapse in dealing with black money

<<Insert More Pseudo Profound Obvious Thesaurus Laden Bulls**t + 1 Personal Life Experiential Anecdote + Something About India Under British Rule+ A Joke >>"

Astrologer on Hindi TV Channel:


The country is gonna have a bad time because RAHU and KETU are playing around in The 9th House Of the 57th Trigram of the Country's horoscope and this has manifested as the struggle between the Baba and the government."

Astrologer on English TV Channel:

Same as above with the exception that instead of Rahu and Ketu sophisticated Tarot Card technology will be used.

Unconcerned Middle Income Professional:

"I don't give a sh*t about the Baba or the Government. Black Money can kiss my ass. Screw you guys, I'm playing


on my iPhone."

Television Producer:

"There's a lot of mass appeal in the Baba. We are trying to sign him up for the next season of BIGG BOSS!"

Astute commentator reading this post:

"This Article Is Horrible. Writer Must Be Ashamed Of Himself."

My Mega Fans:


Abhishek Bachchan:

"Hunger Strike? Baba? Whatever…Get Idea 3G OK!"

I finally found wisdom in the words of my Driver. As I was being driven by him to my Nariman Point office he said quite sheepishly

"Ek Baba Khana Band Kiya Aur Saara Desh Ka Dimaag aur Mood Dono Kharab Ho Gaya Saab"

The Fake Jhunjhunwala is the parody writer of the popular blog 'The Secret Journal Of Rakesh Jhunjhunwala'. He likes counting money. He is a big fan of Samosas, Ice Cream, Pav Bhaji, Pizza, Garlic Bread and Beer.

His hobbies include playing Super Mario, Stalking Hot Babes and Watching B-Grade films to intensively investigate any censor board violations. He also watches Cricket and worships Sachin Tendulkar as much as he worships himself. Read more from him at

He can also be found on twitter usually ranting about Uday Chopra, The Universe and everything in between at

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First Published: Jun 15, 2011 13:23 IST

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