35-year-old reveals unfair life as a single woman in China: ‘Mom wanted to set me up with someone who’s over 50'

Linglong talked about what it is like ‘being single at 35 in China’ after her mom tried to set her up with someone her age — and women everywhere could relate.

Being single in a world obsessed with timelines can often feel like a tightrope walk between personal fulfilment and unsolicited external pressure. Whether it’s navigating uncomfortable dinner table questions, watching friends hit traditional milestones, or wrestling with an internal clock dictated by societal expectations, the struggle to feel 'on track' is a deeply relatable reality for single women across the globe.

A Chinese woman's raw reflections on being single

In a video shared on August 10 on her Instagram account, Linglong Mandarin Chinese, an educator and tour guide named Linglong laid bare the emotional strain of navigating adulthood as a 35-year-old single woman in China. Sitting in her home, tearful, she opened her heart after a painful conflict with her family: “Is 35 really too old? Is being single at 35 some kind of failure? I just had a big fight with my mom because she wanted to set me up with someone who’s over 50, and my mom is 55.”

For Linglong, the proposal felt like a sharp invalidation of her worth. “She wanted me to meet someone who is almost as old as her, if not older. And honestly, I felt really hurt, because as a 35-year-old single woman living in China, I already know what people can think about women of my age. There’s even a word for us — sheng nu — which means ‘leftover women.’”

‘I don’t really care if people think I’m too old’

Her reflection highlighted a layer of modern romance: the wisdom gained through self-discovery: “I’ve also learned from past relationships that being with the wrong person can make you much more unhappy than being alone. I’m still open to love, but I just don’t want to choose someone because I’m scared of being alone.”

The core of her ‘disappointment’, however, stems from familial expectations. “I don’t really care if people think I’m too old, but I want my own parents to be by my side,” Linglong admitted. She added, “I want them to look at me and still think, ‘This is my daughter, she has value, she deserves someone who’s actually right for her.’ I think the world already gives women enough reasons to be anxious about getting older. I’m just a little disappointed my parents are part of it too.”

Linglong would still choose agency over pressure: “I don’t know if or when I would meet the right person, but I would rather be single than let fear choose my life for me.”

‘Being alone is not scary’

Her honest confession touched a chord globally. In the comments, several women validated her courage. One Instagram user wrote, “I’m so sorry people are pushing their idea of the perfect timeline onto you... You have such a lovely presence, and I wish you all the best.”

Another shared her own choice for independence: “I was supposed to get married to the man I love some months ago, he told me I would have to quit my job after the wedding, I cancelled the wedding.” A 49-year-old woman from India reinforced Linglong' stance: “Being alone is not scary. I don’t know why people instill this fear. You do you, boo.”

Linglong’s story highlights a broader movement of women redefining independence, standing firm in their worth, and refusing to settle for anything less than genuine respect.

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