Want a modern example of main-character energy? Don’t look at the bride and groom at an Indian wedding, look at everyone involved in the sangeet. Family, extended family, the groom’s workmates, the bride’s office gang, their gym group, the school friends, the college buddies, the miscellaneous group, a good-terms ex... Everyone is out there shaking a leg. How did we all get roped into song/dance/skit performances that take up a whole evening, events that have no real audience, recordings we play only to watch our own selves?
Bollywood does it too. Alia Bhatt was in Spain last month, being bridesmaid to her bestie, Tanya Saha Gupta. Even they got dressed for a choreographed routine. That 10-second Reel was fun to watch. But let’s face it, most weddings don’t need 20 amateur performances in a single night. How much London Thumakda can we take?
They’re a pain to organise. We get added to Malvika Shaadi Dance Group No1. Rehearsal dates are set up and endlessly changed because someone “can’t this Saturday”. Most practise sessions happen with three of nine people showing up. Then, when choreography is updated, the song is changed and stage positions are moved around – there are fights and sulking. “WDYM we’re not wearing the butterfly cholis, guyzzz? I bought mine already!”
For the most part, “group dances are a way to bond with friends and family,” says Ruchi Nayak, co-owner of a PR agency who recently participated in her sister’s and friend’s sangeets.” Older folks enjoy being involved, says Nirali Rambhia, a wedding choreographer. But joining endless dance lessons when you could be chilling with the bride or groom in their last weeks as singletons can seem like a chore. Choreographers overcharge and grind their teeth when guests pick ambitious moves, only to simplify everything after the second rehearsal. And no matter what, someone isn’t quite in step at the final show, and it’s caught on camera.
{{/usCountry}}For the most part, “group dances are a way to bond with friends and family,” says Ruchi Nayak, co-owner of a PR agency who recently participated in her sister’s and friend’s sangeets.” Older folks enjoy being involved, says Nirali Rambhia, a wedding choreographer. But joining endless dance lessons when you could be chilling with the bride or groom in their last weeks as singletons can seem like a chore. Choreographers overcharge and grind their teeth when guests pick ambitious moves, only to simplify everything after the second rehearsal. And no matter what, someone isn’t quite in step at the final show, and it’s caught on camera.
{{/usCountry}}There is a reason that wedding planners warn hosts against opening the bar before the family performance. No one’s really sticking around for this. The end doesn’t justify the means. It’s time to rethink the dance sequences.
“Keep it short and simple and only invite close family and friends to perform,” says choreographer Rahil Ansari. Aim for no more than 10 dances, and a total run time of 45 minutes. This means each set shouldn’t be more than a few minutes long, says wedding choreographer Eshna Chopra. So no three-verse indulgences. And unless the dancers can handle it, keep the routine simple and fun.
Most practice sessions start too close to the sangeet day, ruining prep. So, trainers recommend starting three months in advance – with plenty of allowance for those jinxed Saturdays. For NRI cousins and friends, Chopra creates video tutorials, so everybody can learn at their pace before the final in-person rehearsal.
Another trick: Don’t build a huge stage. It just puts performers too far from the viewers, and makes it too easy for audiences to slink away. A small stage also makes it harder for the better dancer to steal everyone’s thunder. “That makes it impersonal,” Chopra says.
For a big-budget, destination wedding, a tiny stage won’t do. So, Ansari employs grand theatrics, themes, props and graphics. “If you go big, make the dance as dramatic as possible,” he says. Avoid turning the bridal meet-cute moment into a corny skit.
The worst offence: Turning a wedding celebration into a bride gang vs groom gang thing. Get both sides to collab on a dance to really give people something to look at. “That way the boy’s family won’t escape to the buffet counters while the girl and her friends are dancing and vice versa,” says Chopra. Who knows? A maami from the other side might reveal killer dance moves, a sign that the spouse’s side might be fun after all.
From HT Brunch, July 12, 2025
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