Breakups can bring out the worst in people. Delhi lawyer Abhey Narula knows at least one spouse who stole every left shoe from their partner’s wardrobe, in a petty attempt to get even. He’s seen a man subtly threaten his wife with forced weekly visitations of a daughter he’d never met – only so she would give up her claim for maintenance. One mother offered her husband absolute custody of their child, but valued the kid at ₹50 lakh.
Around the world, uncoupling is tricky. In Chile, divorce wasn’t legal until 2004. In Japan, divorce is easy, there’s child-support too; but children only see the parent they live with. In the Philippines, divorce remains illegal for all but the Muslim minority. “In the US, assets acquired during the course of a marriage are taken into account at divorce, irrespective of who acquired them,” Narula says. “Indian law has no such concept.”
So, couples bicker over property, savings and, increasingly, the detritus of modern living. See what’s up for grabs today.
Shared Netflix, Amazon, Apple and Spotify subscriptions
Seems trivial, considering how easy it is to cancel a joint plan and start a solo one in minutes, but what about all those carefully curated preferences? Young people, especially, are anguished at the idea that their a playlist or wishlist, which took years to build, can vanish at the click of a button.
{{/usCountry}}Seems trivial, considering how easy it is to cancel a joint plan and start a solo one in minutes, but what about all those carefully curated preferences? Young people, especially, are anguished at the idea that their a playlist or wishlist, which took years to build, can vanish at the click of a button.
{{/usCountry}}Curation is an art. But creating playlists is not considered intellectual property in any country. So, couples can contest payments made to the services, but can’t fight over ownership or division of their accounts.
“Ideally, the person who originally signed up for the service and pays for it should keep the account,” says Narula. Chandni Tugnait, psychotherapist and founder-director of Gateway of Healing, says that with shared accounts, couples might consider creating new individual accounts and splitting any remaining subscription period fairly. Or avoid the mess altogether and give your playlists a fresh start, like you’re doing with your life.
The @Handle that took two to build
The Insta page where your #CoupleTravelGoals went viral, the YouTube food channel that both spouses built content for, the archive of video clips, the beauty catchphrase, the DMs where deals were made… If your intellectual property was not registered as a business, there’s no law over who gets the spoils. Narula gives his clients three options: To register it as co-owners (even during or after a breakup) so as to regulate use and share income, royalties and profits; to buyout the other person and continue the business solo; to jointly close the IP and archive the account.
The cleanest way out? Just ending a joint venture. “Most of my settlement terms include an undertaking by both parties that they shall not post abusive, defamatory things about their partner or spouse after parting ways, and not share photos of each other either,” he says. “After relationships breakdown, it’s possible that one person moves on faster than the other, prompting the other to take to reminiscing or libel. Formally acknowledging these stipulations into court documents have a greater persuasive effect of keeping parties in line.”
One of Tugnait’s clients, who had jointly built an online following with her partner, knew that each had contributed equally to the project. “They opted for a buyout. One partner compensated the other for their share of the IP in exchange for full ownership. It was chaotic but we got there.”
Credit card points
It’s not uncommon for even unmarried couples to pool their spending to maximise loyalty points on a single card. So, when the points are enough to trade for international flight upgrades, but the couple will no longer vacation together, who gets them? Narula says that rewards are tricky: They are non-transferrable and joint spending is hard to track. “Parties can mutually arrive at an approximate value for these so they can be divided,” he says. “A judicial officer may value them based on what they can currently being redeemed against.”
Couples with kids tend to pass on hard-to-split assets to their children. American banks view points as assets, and often allow for them to be divided when a joint account is closed. In India, “use the points for a mutually agreed-upon purpose, like a final shared expense or a gift card that can be split,” says Tugnait.
Wedding presents, heirlooms and all those photo shoots
A bride’s jewellery, gifted at the time of her wedding, is considered streedhan, and is recognised as her own property under Indian law. Wedding presents, however, are murky territory. “Unless specifically given for the use and enjoyment of both spouses, they are presumed to be for the wife and therefore hers,” Narula says. “In India, newlyweds are usually given money. If that money was used to purchase assets, it’s up to the couple to divide them.”
Gifts from the bride’s family typically go to the bride; those gifted by the groom’s family are retained by the groom, says Dr Tugnait. But when divorces get ugly, she’s sometimes had to mediate.
Heirlooms such as art, antiques and collectibles are easier. Those gifted to the bride by her parents (at the wedding or after) are hers. Those gifted to her by the groom’s family (at the wedding) are hers to keep too. Many of Narula’s male clients demand their valuable keepsakes back when a couple parts ways, and compensate the wife for it. Many willingly give up old treasures too – who wants a memento of a severed connection?
A new asset to fight over: Pre-wedding, wedding and honeymoon photoshoot images. Women typically request ownership, Narula says. Ownership, however, is different from copyright. Under Indian law, the creator of the images (in this case, the photographer) holds the copyright, and couples can add a privacy clause at the time of booking, to prevent visuals of their special day from being used on social media or commercially.
The couple (or either spouse) can buy the rights to the images from the photographer at any time, and is then free to share, archive or destroy them. The decision should be based on what helps you heal and move forward, Tugnait says. “If seeing the photos triggers painful memories, get the copyright and delete or archive them.” Remember that the photos shot by all the guests are still theirs to keep.
Plants, pets, and the sourdough starter
You both fed the dog, watered the monstera, got excited over the warm mason jar of bacteria. But Indian law recognises none of them as wards. So, there is no law to govern their co-parenting.
Dividing plants after a breakup can be surprisingly emotional, says Tugnait. “They symbolise growth and nurturing.” Rare species, raised with care over several years, tend to fetch high enough sums that impact a divorce. She recommends that each spouse takes cuttings from their plants to grow separately, if they both can manage gardens of their own.
Pets are trickier. “Parties rarely want to interact with each other after a breakup, so co-parenting a pet is not a popular arrangement,” says Narula. “It often comes down to who has the larger house. When one of Tugnait’s clients split with her long-time boyfriend recently, neither wanted to give up their adored dog, Bruno. So, Bruno spent weekdays with her and weekends with him. “Both people split vet expenses and coordinated Bruno’s routine, putting the pet’s needs first. It worked.”
When it doesn’t, it’s best to soften the blow. “If you can’t give something up, offer something else is return,” says Narula. “One can keep all the plants if the other keeps the pet. It’s what I usually advise.”
PS: Sourdough starter is easy to share. Just take out 20g and place it in a clean jar with 20g of flour and 20g of water. To work well separately, the starter must be mature to begin with. As must you.
From HT Brunch, January 11, 2025
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