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The Brunch round-up for August 22: The week and how it made us feel
This week, we’re posting our flops, sending messenger pigeons, playing Baby Shark and so over Twilight
Losing bite
It’s been 14 years since Twilight ended. Kristen Stewart has built a genuinely great indie career and directed a film. Robert Pattinson is in everything right now, including Dune and The Odyssey. And yet, the press keeps asking them: “Are you team Jacob or team Edward?” Stewart just told a reporter, “I don’t give a f**ck”. Props for best answer.
In GG mode
Do we need another Gilmore Girls revival? It started as peak comfort TV in 2000, until Rory grew up and started making baffling life decisions. We’re yet to recover from the 2016 mini-reboot, A Year in the Life, which found her broke, directionless and having an affair with her ex. Now, they’ve announced a documentary with BTS footage. Girl, we’ve seen enough. Let her rest.
Reversing spells
A multimillion-dollar power cable between the UK and Ireland has been re-routed after Harry Potter fans complained it would disturb the spot where Dobby was buried in the 2010 Deathly Hallows 1 movie. Instead, the line will now pass through some very real Bronze Age Muggle sites. RIP, Dobby. This is not what you’d have wanted.
Flip-flopping
Who decided that posting your flop moments online was motivating? Hearing about people breaking down in public or losing friendships is low-key depressing. It gives our secret haters another reason to judge us. Plus, our brain plays our Top 50 Greatest Fumbles, unprompted, at 3am, anyway. It doesn’t need more ammo.
In Reply mode
Tech bros have decided that “slow conversations” and “meaningful messaging” are the antidote to instant messaging. The app, Carrier Pidge, transmits messages depending on how far you are from the recipient. So, it can take up to hours or even weeks to get a text from a friend abroad, or an uncle in another city. Plus, your pigeon might die along the way. You know who’ll looove this? That bestie who only replies when the vibes are right.
Making waves
Baby Shark came out in 2016, hypnotised kids the world over, and bored parents to death (Stop humming it as you read this!). It has 17 billion views on YouTube. Now, Park Geon-roung, who was just seven in the video, is launching his own K-pop song, Wave. Hold hands, Gen Zs, he’s the Nirvana Nevermind baby of this generation.
In your ear
Sad girlies, unite. After Olivia Rodrigo and Gracie Abrams, we’re listening to Phoebe Bridgers’s album, Lost Weekend. It’s got enough Easter eggs and cryptic lyrics to keep us busy for a while. The Governor’s Waltz is about her ex, Paul Mescal, right? Is she throwing shade at Gracie Abrams too? References to current beau, Bo Burnham, are sprinkled on there too. We’re eating well, fam.
Team bonding
To stop people from climbing the Liberation Monument in Chongqing, China hired a security guard to endlessly circle it. The job is as monotonous, repetitive, and boring as it sounds.So, authorities assigned him a buddy for his mental health and to chat with through the day. Sisyphus could have done with a work wife. We know what a win this is!
