The Brunch round-up for August 30: The week and how it made us feel

Travis Kelce proposed to Taylor Swift on August 26. But Swifties saw it coming two weeks ago. Or, more accurately, 13 days ago. On August 13, they did a two-hour episode on Kelce’s and his brother Jason’s pod, New Heights.One line gave it away. “What does it mean that we both like the number 13?” Jason Kelce asked. “It means we’re family,” Swift said. You noticed too?

Give bromance a rest. Tech bros are using the term broligarchy to refer to wealthy, powerful dudes in government and business. There’s also broetry (poorly strung LinkedIn aphorisms), bro-crastination (avoiding work by hanging out with the homies) and broasis (the bro watering hole). Guys, why don’t you all just get together and brocreate?

War 2 is long and dull. But watching Hrithik Roshan and Tiger Shroff play off each other is worth the three-hour runtime. Fans are saying that the “homoerotic subtext” is the best part of the movie. The flirty banter and sensual fight scenes are more fun than the plot. Writers, where’s the fanfic at?

Louis Vuitton’s beauty line is here. But even for a luxe label, it’s absurdly overpriced. Lipsticks at $160, eyeshadow palettes at $250. WTF! Lindsay Lohan herself has commented that it’s not worth it. For this much money, those lippies better eliminate pores, reverse sun damage, and last longer than our Hinge hook-ups.

Uber Eats has Brian Cox playing, well, Brian Cox. The 78-year-old “goes back to college”, not for Shakespeare, but for the student discounts on food and commutes. The ad milks Cox’s hilarious deadpan style. He scowls at everyone, and looks grumpy even while tucking into free tacos. The ad is US only, but 10/10 for celeb endorsement done right. No notes.

The machines will rule us all, eventually. But before that, they’ll let us cuddle them. Casio’s AI pet Moflin looks like a rabbit, guinea pig and cat rolled into one. It can develop 40,000 personality patterns (timid, adventurous, clingy, aloof…). It even remembers its caregiver. It might replace your pet, or maybe you.

First came the Hot Rodent Boyfriend: Wiry, angular, with twitchy charm. Then the Golden Retriever trotted in: Loyal, emotionally house-trained. Now, with The Summer I Turned Pretty’s Conrad Fisher, everyone’s purring over the Black Cat Boyfriend: Cool, aloof, smugly mysterious. Our hack: Throw them all into the ring to see who becomes king of the boyfriend jungle.

On the dating scene, brace for a new term. Shrekking refers to dating someone who is “unattractive” just so you get treated like a princess. As in Shrek and Fiona. Hello! Those two didn’t spend four movies smashing beauty standards for us to backslide into shallowness. Let’s reclaim the swamp, guys. Ban the term.