The Brunch round-up for September 13: The week and how it made us feel

Ariana Grande is driving back from the MTV VMAs with Video of the Year, Best Pop, and Best Longform Video awards in her trunk. But we’re more excited that she thanked her therapists in her acceptance speech. Blackpink’s Rosé, who won Song of the Year for APT, thanked her shrink too. Finally, a nod to the real heroes!

Our least fav Hollywood trope: Teens who bite into one piece of toast and exit the scene, leaving the monster breakfast spread untouched. With Korean dramas, at least, the guys wolf down ramen and bibimbap bowls. The GOAT: Japan. Whenever meals feature on screen, they display a sign that says, “The staff ate it later”. Cute!

The Chinese; one step ahead, as usual. Last month, a shopping site organised a show of more than 300 unappealing products – the shortlist for their annual Ugly Stuff Competition. There were felt figurines, sandals that looked like wilted cabbage, and nightmare-core art. And a surprising number of misshapen cat cushions. Erm. Who classified those as ugly?

We’ve given up expecting K-pop groups to come to India, and for that Y/N moment to happen with Jungkook or Jennie. Perhaps we’re approaching it all wrong? Malini Banerjee’s Indo-Korean romance novel, You Had Me At Annyeong, is set in Korea and is as unrealistic as a K-drama. Nothing’s kimpossible when it comes to love.

Are you hot and bothered by the Wuthering Heights teaser? No? Just us then. Catherine (Margot Robbie) kneads dough like it’s foreplay. Heathcliff (Jacob Elordi) broods shirtless, as Charli XCX’s breathy vocals echo. The moors have never been thirstier. Call it horny gothic. Call the English department.

Lindsay Lohan suddenly looks 25 again, Kris Jenner has lost her comical cheek implants, even Brad Pitt looks ironed out. The old signs of cosmetic surgery (too-tight skin, surprise brows, permanent grin) have given way to an undetectable new procedure. Docs call it The Deep Plane facelift. We call it a jab well done.

Move over, Nick Jonas. India has a new national jiju: Travis Kelce. Ever since his proposal to Taylor Swift, Indian fans have been in party mode. This week, @LoserTaylorsVersion is throwing an offline sangeet – dancing, dhols, Bollywood bangers – everything. Ok, but who’s stealing his shoes from the mandap?

In a feed full of stereotypes, mimicry and accents, we’re loving what @DramaShree does in her videos. One clip has her playing a conservative maa, responding to her daughter’s SA by “that uncle”, with disbelief, blame and shame. It’s funny, but every barb lands. Hat tip to a comedian who uses the medium to deliver uncomfortable truths.