ADHD and the vicious cycle of shame: Therapist explains the connection

From not meeting expectations to feeling shame in social groups, here are a few reasons why shame and ADHD go hand in hand.

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, also known as ADHD, is a mental condition where a person faces the issue of inattention, or hyperactivity or impulsiveness for a prolonged period of time. ADHD is one of the disorders that can show up early in childhood. It interferes with functioning and development as well. Some of the common symptoms of ADHD are difficulty in paying attention and hyperactivity. However, it can also bring a sense of shame to us. "Due to the stigma and lack of understanding of ADHD in our society, we often feel a deep sense of shame around the behaviors that are impacted by our neurodivergence. Shame blocks us from getting help, finding creative solutions and showing up authentically in our communities. One of the best things you can do for yourself as an adult with ADHD is learn how to recognize and process your feelings of shame," wrote Therapist Meredith Carder.

Feeling shame for not meeting expectations: When we have ADHD, it may interfere with our work quality and deadlines at a workplace. Since we have certain responsibilities and expectations on us, we may try to motivate ourselves with the shame to push through and work on the responsibilities entrusted to us. However, this can further lead to burnout and make the symptoms of ADHD worse.

Feeling shame and embarrassment in social groups: Interrupting and issues with punctuality are faced by people with ADHD. Hence, shame and embarrassment in social groups is common for people with ADHD, which can further make them isolate themselves, leading to loneliness, under stimulation and low mood.