A quick temper is the cause of many problems. Despite being aware of the situation, not everyone can keep their head in the face of even minor problems. Taking to Instagram on August 23, Florida-based therapist Jeffrey Meltzer shared five ways that can help.
1. Cool your face
The therapist meant that literally. In Jeffrey’s words, “When you're really worked up, go to the bathroom and splash some cold water in your face or play something cool against your cheeks for a little bit.”
{{/usCountry}}The therapist meant that literally. In Jeffrey’s words, “When you're really worked up, go to the bathroom and splash some cold water in your face or play something cool against your cheeks for a little bit.”
{{/usCountry}}He explained that cooling the face can trigger a parasympathetic response and help slow a person’s heart rate. They are basically giving their body a chance to calm down before deciding how they want to respond to a situation.
2. Stop assuming the worst in people
Anger gets stronger when a person interprets someone's behaviour as intentionally disrespectful or malicious.
“So before deciding this person is so selfish, ask yourself, is there another explanation for what they just did? Maybe they didn't see you. Maybe they just made a mistake,” shared the therapist.
Now, obviously, that does not mean ignoring harmful behaviour or obvious patterns. It just means not adding extra anger to the situation with a story that one does not actually know is true.
3. Give your anger a closing time
“If something is bothering you, give yourself five or 10 minutes to think about it or write down what you're upset about. Then intentionally shift your attention because repeatedly replaying something in your head is rumination, and rumination tends to keep the anger going,” shared Jeffrey.
In other words, the therapist suggested giving oneself the emotion some space without spending the rest of the day rehearsing a troubling situation.
4. Lower your arousal before you respond
“Take about a minute and breathe really slowly. Try breathing in for about four seconds and breathing out for about six,” noted Jeffrey, explaining that research on anger consistently finds that strategies that lower physiological arousal work much better than trying to aggressively get the anger out.
“So, calm your body first, then decide what you actually want to do,” he added.
5. Get the basics right
When a person is exhausted, their threshold for frustration is going to be much lower.
“So, protect your sleep, move your body, get some sunlight, because the more depleted you are, the harder it becomes to respond to little annoyances the way you actually want to. So get those basics right, and those little annoyances won't have so much control over what you say or do,” suggested Jeffrey.
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. This report is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.
Jeffrey Meltzer is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor based in Florida. He graduated with a Master's in Mental Health Counselling from the University of South Florida and has been providing therapy services for over seven years.
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