Are you in persecutor mode in your relationship? 7 signs to be aware of
From having a negative attitude to passing snide remarks at the partner, here are a few signs that we are in persecutor mode.
A relationship demands peace and a healthy space for connection, intimacy, communication, loyalty, and trust to bloom. However, in many relationships, an overwhelming environment grows when a person constantly feels suppressed by their partner. “You are not meant to experience drama in your relationships. You were born to be supported to follow your desires, to achieve great things, and to self-actualise. You can stay stuck in the blame game, carry lingering resentment around you, or feel sad over all the times you weren’t supported or didn’t feel loved,” relationship coach Marlena Tillhon wrote in a post. So, if you often say ‘How dare you’ to your partner, you might be in the persecutor mode in your relationship. Here are the signs that prove you are the persecutor.
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Constantly complaining:
We are constantly on a complaining spree to our partners about everything that they do. This can make them feel that they are not good enough for us. Even when they stay calm, we try to trigger them because they are not defensive.
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Blame game:
We constantly blame them for upsetting us – this often makes us feel that our lashing out is justified. We do not make attempts to understand why they did what they did.
View with suspicion:
We constantly put the partner under the lens of suspicion, without taking into account their intentions with us. We feel that they have wrong intentions and are trying to hurt us.
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Our go-to reaction – argument
No matter the situation, we constantly try to argue with our partners instead of sitting with our emotions and trying to come up with a better solution to resolve a conflict.
Passive-aggressive comments:
We pass snide remarks or passive-aggressive comments at our partners with the intention of hurting them or making them feel down.
Negative attitude:
We generally hold negative opinions about everyone around us and have a difficult time trusting anyone.
Others walk on eggshells around us:
People around us find us difficult, critical, and complaining in nature. People also complain of walking on eggshells around us.