How anxious attachment can damage a relationship

From being clingy to not trusting the partner, here are a few ways by which anxious attachment can damage a relationship.

Unresolved anxious attachment can have a deep impact in the relationship. When we are brought up in dysfunctional homes, we tend to grow up in the fear of abandonment. This happened because of not receiving enough care and affection that we deserved as a child from our parents and caregivers. Hence, instead of addressing the issues, we try to develop strategies for more contact with our caregivers. This can make us more dependent on others and more people pleasing in nature. "An unhealed anxious attachment style will damage your relationship and negatively impact your wellbeing and self-esteem. If you want to create a healthy and secure relationship that you can relax into and feel safe and loved in, you need to heal the attachment trauma that makes you act out," wrote Relationship Coach Marlena Tillhon. Here are a few ways by which anxious attachment can damage a relationship:

How anxious attachment can damage a relationship (Unsplash)

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Jealousy: The feelings of insecurity can turn to jealousy – this can further hinder the partner's independence and make them feel choked up in the relationship.

Hypervigilance: A person with anxious attachment is constantly scrutinising the behaviors of others to get hints of whether they are mad at them.

Incessant reassurance seeking: An anxious lover is obsessively asking for attention and reassurance all the time. This creates a lot of turmoil in the relationship as the practice of the partner handling the inner trauma can get very tiring.

Being clingy: Intimacy is one of the foundation blocks of a healthy romantic relationship, but when we see separation as a threat and not as an opportunity to have our personal space and grow individually, it can get very frustrating with time.