Common behaviors of anxious partners that can make you feel not good enough

From need of reassurance to fear of abandonment, here are a few reasons why loving an anxious partner can make us feel that we are not enough.

Each person has their individual style of attachment. While some have anxious attachment style, some are avoidant. In case of anxious attachment style, a person is always demanding a lot of love, care and affection. They are equally worried about `being hurt and abandoned in love. While it is rewarding to be in love with someone who has an anxious attachment, it can also sometimes make us feel that we are not enough. "Struggling with Love's Doubts? Dating an Anxious Lover? Feeling like you're never enough for your anxious partner? It's more common than you think," wrote Therapist Benjamin Ekorhi.

Common behaviors of anxious partners that can make you feel not good enough (Unsplash)

The Therapist further noted down a few reasons why dating an anxious partner can make us feel that we are not enough.

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Need for reassurance: Anxious attachment brings with it a lot of insecurities – this makes the person look for constant reassurance in a relationship. It can become overwhelming for us to give that validation constantly.

Fear of abandonment: Even when things are good, they are always thinking of being abandoned. This fear makes them feel more anxious.

Overanalysing: When we are with an anxious partner, we are constantly overanalysed – our behavior patterns, our reactions. This happens because they are always hyper focused on us.

Criticism and blame: Sometimes, due to their attachment style, the partner can criticise and blame us for the way they are feeling. This can make us feel frustrated and overwhelmed.

Here are a few ways to work through it:

Understanding attachment style: While we cannot change their attachment style, we can educate ourselves on the patterns and try to understand their perspective.

Managing expectations: setting clear boundaries and having communication on the expectations that each of us should have in the relationship can help us to get more clarity.

Building trust: Often fear of abandonment stems from not having enough trust. We should work together with the partner in building trust.

Self-love: When things start to get overwhelming, we should not stop loving ourselves ad focusing on taking care of ourselves.