Ways by which people cope in dysfunctional families: Expert shares insights

From scapegoat to the overachiever, here are the range of roles that children take up in their families, in order to cope up with the stress and trauma.

Children are all born with the potential to become brilliant and resilient human beings. They slowly get moulded into the family structure and the way they are brought up. Childhood and the influence of parents have the maximum role to play in the way a child is brought up and how they aspire to be. Parenting and the families they are brought up in, matters in making a children grow to be mature and emotionally-stable individuals. However, one is born into dysfunctional families, they quickly get into their survival mode and take up roles in coping up with the trauma that they are made to go through.

Psychologist Nicole LePera addressed this issue of dysfunctional families on her Instagram profile a few days back and wrote, “Children are brilliant and incredibly resilient. When they’re born into dysfunctional families, they quickly learn to adapt by taking on roles.” These are the role that the Psychologist is talking about:

Overachiever: This child is the one who is a performer and is the sole attraction of the family for portraying that their family is healthy. “Their accomplishments mask the pain, shame, + isolation. The overachiever might feel empty or broken inside but this is never spoken about, or voice because ultimately, it doesn’t matter. The appearance of looking good is more important that how anyone actually feels within then family,” Nicole further added.

Peacemaker: This child is the one with the least needs and wants. They think that they should stop one more burden from their parents. These peacemakers grow up to be people pleasing and more prone to self-betrayal in relationships, in the later stage of their lives.