Ways to be more securely attached in a relationship: Therapist shares tips

From working on our relationship with ourselves to finding safe people to connect with, here are a few ways to securely attach in a relationship.

In a relationship, if we are insecurely attached, it can lead to certain issues. The intense dependency on the partner can be exhausting – slight changes in the partner’s behaviour or mood can trigger us. Most of the time, insecure attachment style conjures up from the innate fear of abandonment. When we come from dysfunctional homes and carry the burden of childhood trauma, the fear of abandonment imbibes in our behavioural and thought patterns. Hence, in adult relationships, insecure attachment style shows up. However, if it starts to hinder emotional growth and intimacy, it can lead to frustration and resentment. 

Secure attachment helps in finding comfort in the company of each other.

Therapist Sadaf Siddiqi shared a few ways by which we can be more securely attached in a relationship.

Learn about traumas and triggers:

We need to sit with ourselves and try to become more self-aware of our own emotions, triggers and stressors. The things that have earlier affected our sense of safety should be addressed effectively – only when we can pave the way for a securely attached relationship.

One of the main connections that we should work on is the relationship we have with ourselves. We need to change the negative narratives in our minds and build trust with ourselves. We should also work on finding ways to accept and love ourselves, just the way we are.