From Shirt Ka Button to Pepsi Cola, all the weird ways lovers address each other in Bollywood

Days of ‘boo’ and ‘bae’ maybe here but nothing trumps weird old Bollywood which always manage to come up with totally unbelievable names for lovers in its songs.

Every few years, people find some obnoxious new way to coo at their lovers. What began with ‘honey’, ‘darling’ and ‘sweetheart’ has now transitioned to ‘bae’, ‘boo’, ‘pookie’ and more.

Tusshar Kapoor would rather be a button.

Some find being called ‘babe’ very demeaning while others can’t stand being someone’s ‘babu.’ However, nothing comes close to all the crazy ways Bollywood has invented to address girlfriends and boyfriends.

From exotic curries to items of upholstery, Hindi film songs have a way of turning it all into cute, weirdly acceptable words to show love. Don’t believe us? Check out this list of songs and their unbelievably daft lyrics that somehow still work...

1. Shirt Da Button:

Talk about self-objectification. This song from Kya Super Kool Hain Hum, somehow also manages to be the sweetest on this list. Lovelorn Tusshar Kapoor and Ritheish Deshmukh pine for the ladies to give them some attention and to get it, they are willing to even turn themselves into buttons and hair clips. At least then they would have some purpose in life other than lustfully chasing after women.

2. Tu Meri Hai Pepsi Cola:

Tujhe Khilaaunga Ji Bhar Ke Garam Samosa Idli Ya DosaTu Meri Hai Pepsi-Cola Main Tera Hoon Coca-Cola

Aww, remember when Pepsi was called Pepsi Cola? You do? Wow grandpa, you must be a 100 years old!

However, this song is not. Salman Khan’s 1997 hit, Judwaa, gave Bollywood several cool new songs and one of them thought it was quite poetic to use aerated drink metaphors for lovers. But it’s so catchy, we’ll let it slide.

3. Caller Tune:

Mujhe apni bana le caller tune soniyeEverytime I see youI’m over the moon soniye

This song attacks you on two levels. First it kicks you in the shins with those lyrics and then, when are on your knees, writhing with all-consuming cringe, it delivers a sucker punch right into your throat with that dance step. Are they slapping mosquitoes or something?

4. Main Maal Gaadi

Main maal gaadi tu dhakka kagaDhakka kaga re dhakka kagaGaram ho gaya engineIska dhakka deta jha

Remember Pahlaj Nihalani? This is from his film Andaaz. We wonder how long it took Anil Kapoor and Juhi Chawla to be able to sleep at all after this. This stuff scars you for life.

5. Angoor Ka Dana:

Angoor ka daana hoonSui na chubho denaSui jo chubhoi to ras tapakegaJo ras tapakega to kismisKismis kismis ban jaaungi

*slowly backs away*

6. Chooha-Choohi

Huyi Huyi Huyi Huyi Huyi Huyi Huyi HuyiLadki Diwani Hai Ye Karti Hai Huyi Huyi Huyi HuyiMai Laya Hu Chuha Apna, Kaha Hai Teri ChuhiHuyi Huyi Huyi Huyi Huyi Huyi Huyi Huyi

Here we take it up a notch. People are no longer talking about each other but about particular body parts. Ugh. We swear the chorus is also saying ‘Obama Obama Obama Obama…’ throughout. Anyway, Saif Ali Khan made some wrong decisions in life.

7. Hookah Bar

Tera husn dhueydaar jaise jaltaa cigarTere pyar ka nasha kabhi aar kabhi paarTera pyaar pyaar pyaar hookah bar

How wonderful is love, the beauty of it cannot be put to words. Except, hookah bar. It’s just the word humanity has looked for all these years.

8. Tu Meri Hai Fish Fry

You are my chicken fry, you are my fish n fryKabhi naa kehna kudiye bye bye bye...You are my samosa, you are my masala dosaMain naa kahungi mundeya bye bye bye...Sarson ka tu saag hai, main makke ki roti...You are my chocolate, you are my cutlet...Garama garam tandoori tu hai, main toh aankhein sekun...Muh mein paani aa jaata hai, jab main tujhko dekhun...You are my rasgulla, you are my rasmalai...

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