Marriage over career | sex and relationships | Hindustan Times
Today in New Delhi, India
Feb 23, 2018-Friday
New Delhi
  • Humidity
  • Wind

Marriage over career

Our society and our filmmakers are not yet ready for the truly independent woman, notes Deepa Gahlot.

sex and relationships Updated: Jul 24, 2008 11:59 IST
Deepa Gahlot

The film, Jaane To Ya Jaane Na has become a big hit, and has been appreciated for its freshness and humour. So it's okay to rain on its parade a bit now.

Those who've seen the film, would know, that the heroine Aditi is on her way to the U S for a filmmaking course, when the hero Jai, realises that he loves her and makes a dash to the airport to stop her.

All for love
In a film that's modern in every other respect parents are cool about their kids' romantic choices, no status differences, no khandaan ki izzat nonsense - a girl's career choice is still not all that important.

She must give up all her ambitions for love. No arguments, it is expected of her - marriage over career. She could, for instance, have gone on for her course, after acknowledging her love for Jai, and promising to come back to him.

He could have let her go, and kept in touch with her till she returned. But no, he stops her, she misses her flight and marries him.

Maybe she will still become a filmmaker, but she quit the course without a second thought. Why so passive? Okay, so she was going to the U S only to avoid marrying a creepy fiancé. This means it's okay to think of a career if marriage is not an immediate option.

And a creepy fiancé is not creepy enough till he slugs the girl in the face. Aditi, it is established right at the outset, is an aggressive spitfire. Then why is she so passive when it comes to major decisions in her life?

Male-less life
Maybe our society and our filmmakers are not yet ready for the truly independent woman. It's acceptable if it's Jai's widowed mother, who's a female activist reading feminist books and living a ‘male-less' life. But when it comes to the heroine - a possible role model for girls watching the movie-she must conform to the role assigned to her.

Husband before self
Had the guy gone abroad for further studies, there would have been no question asked-he would have gone and the girl would have waited for him.

Even if he went after they married. But a woman must still put husband or family before self.

In many films, be it Karan Johar's Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, or Yash Chopra's Dil To Paagal Hai, the ultrafeminine, soft-spoken chiffon-clad girl finally gets the hero in the end, not the tomboyish ‘best buddy' sort.

Yummy mummy
Note the neat coiffed hair and stylish costume Aditi is wearing at the end of the film-when all through she was clad in casual clothes, no make-up and indifferently done-up hair.

It leaves no doubt that Aditi will end up being the memsaab type, who in turn, will end up being a housebound yummy mummy. Or we will wait for the promised sequel and see what happens.