You tend to fall in love with the same type of person, again and again
It’s common that when a relationship ends, people attribute the breakup to their ex-partner’s personality and decide they need to date a different type of person, however, research has proven otherwise.Updated: Oct 20, 2019 13:06 IST
After a breakup, people are most likely to search for a different kind of person, but it doesn’t happen so.
“It’s common that when a relationship ends, people attribute the breakup to their ex-partner’s personality and decide they need to date a different type of person. Our research suggests there’s a strong tendency to nevertheless continue to date a similar personality,” said lead author Yoobin Park.
Using data from an ongoing multi-year study on couples and families across several age groups, Park and co-author Geoff MacDonald, compared the personalities of current and past partners of 332 people.
“The effect is more than just a tendency to date someone similar to yourself,” said Park.
Participants in the study along with a sample of current and past partners assessed their own personality traits related to agreeableness, conscientiousness, extraversion, neuroticism, and openness to experience.
They were polled on how much they identified with a series of statements such as, “I am usually modest and reserved”, “I am interested in many different kinds of things” and “I make plans and carry them out”. Respondents were asked to rate their disagreement or agreement with each statement on a five-point scale.
Researcher’s analysis of the responses showed that overall the current partners of individuals described themselves in ways that were similar to past partners.
“The degree of consistency from one relationship to the next suggests that people may indeed have a ‘type’,” said MacDonald. “It is noteworthy that we found partner similarity above and beyond similarity to oneself.”
“In every relationship, people learn strategies for working with their partner’s personality,” says Park.
“If your new partner’s personality resembles your ex-partner’s personality, transferring the skills you learned might be an effective way to start a new relationship on a good footing.”
“So, if you find you’re having the same issues in the relationship after relationship, you may want to think about how gravitating toward the same personality traits in a partner is contributing to the consistency in your problems,” said Park.
(This story has been published from a wire agency feed without modifications to the text. Only the headline has been changed. )