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'Had to leave tech career behind’: Indian woman shares reality of moving to US as 'dependent spouse'
The woman reflected on the sacrifices she made after relocating from India 9 years ago, saying she “had to leave” her tech career behind.
An Indian-origin woman living in the Bay Area has caught the internet’s attention after sharing the emotional and financial realities of moving to the US as a dependent spouse. In an Instagram post, Sanjeevnie Syngal, an engineer-turned-real estate agent based in the Bay Area, reflected on the sacrifices she made after relocating from India 9 years ago, saying she “had to leave” her tech career behind because of visa restrictions.
“Moved from India to the Bay Area 9 years ago as a dependent spouse. I had to leave my tech career behind. Here are 6 things I wish someone had warned me about,” she wrote.
In her post, Syngal first spoke about the staggering cost of living in the US. “Groceries? 3x India prices. Childcare? $2,500/month (around ₹2,39,000). Eating out? $80-150 (Approximately ₹8,000 to ₹15,000) for two people,” she wrote, adding that watching savings disappear while being unable to work “hits different.”
She also highlighted how everyday life became significantly harder without domestic help. “In India, I had help with cooking, cleaning, and daily tasks. Here? I’m doing it all. Domestic help is a luxury, not a necessity,” she wrote.
One of the most difficult parts of the transition, Syngal said, was losing her professional identity. She revealed that she had worked as a Tech Lead for 8 years before moving abroad. “I was a Tech Lead for 8 years. Then I became a ‘Dependent spouse’ on paper. Couldn’t work for years,” she wrote, adding, “The loss of professional identity after being respected in your field; that’s a grief nobody prepares you for.”
Life abroad
Syngal also recalled the emotional strain of being away from family during major life events. She shared that she was 7 months pregnant during the Covid-19 pandemic when her father-in-law received a “deadly diagnosis.”
“My husband flew to India. I stayed: alone, pregnant, terrified,” she wrote, adding that living “8,000 miles” away from family support takes a heavier toll than many realise.
The techie further noted that building a social circle abroad requires conscious effort, especially for spouses who are unable to work due to visa rules. “In India, community is built in. Here? You start from zero. Building that village takes years. When you can’t work, you lose the community that comes with a workplace,” she said.
But despite the hardships, Syngal said she eventually rebuilt a career she is proud of and that her son now has opportunities she never had. However, she admitted the journey came with painful trade-offs. “I paid for it with years away from my parents, missing my professional prime, and starting over at 30,” she wrote.
HT.com has reached out to Sanjeevnie Syngal. The article will be updated once a response is received.
