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Super Bowl LVIII for dummies: All the questions you were afraid to ask
Who is playing? What to eat?
Americans and the rest of the world often don’t agree on what qualifies as football but if there’s one thing they univocally agree on, it’s the fact that Ted Lasso is great. The show is based on a remarkably silly premise – a disgruntled ex-wife hires an American to coach a soccer team to ruin her husband’s life – and ended up giving us hope during the darkest days of the pandemic.
What makes the show particularly hilarious is how clueless Ted is about European football and in one of the mocumentaries promoting the show, Ted calls up legendary soccer coach Jose Mourinho to understand how soccer works. Interestingly, the mockumentary was aired during the Champions League final three years ago, in turn helping create a Super Bowl like moment.
Now, if like Lasso you are also clueless about football, we will be your Jose Mourinho. Here’s what you need to know about Super Bowl LVIII that will make you sound wiser than Vince Lombardo. Here is your basic cheat sheet:
Who is playing?
The 58th Super Bowl will be played on Saturday 11 February at the Allegiant Stadium, Las Vegas, USA. The final will be played between Kansas City Chiefs (last year’s winners) and San Francisco 49ers.
Which team is better?
The Chiefs are looking to win back-to-back titles for the first time in two decades. It’s their sixth Super Bowl appearance and, their fifth final in the last six years. The 49ers are having a great run this season and have only lost five times.
Who are the main players?
In American football, the main man is the quarterback. As Denzel Washington’s Coach Herman explained to Kip Purdue’s Ronnie Bass in Remember the Titans about the quarterback role: “You are the colonel, you need to command your troops tonight.”
The quarterback is the colonel, the conductor, the marshal, and all other things that matter. The Chiefs are led by Patrick Mahomes who has won the Super Bowl twice and been named MVP. They also have Chris Jones (Defensive Tackle), Travis Kelce (Tight End and Taylor Swift's boyfriend), Creed Humphrey (Centre) and Joe Thurney (Left Guard).
Brock Purdy is San Francisco's quarterback and has been instrumental this seaosn. In the 2022 draft, he was the final (last) pick of the draft but was chosen because the 49ers’ coach was impressed with his college tapes. Purdy is surrounded by running back Christian McCaffrey, wide receiver Deebo Samuel, tight end George Kittle and offensive tackle Trent Williams.
Who is performing at the Super Bowl 58 half-time show?
Now, more importantly, who’s playing at half-time? The Super Bowl halftime show is more sacred than the game at times and yesteryear’s performances have seen legends like Beyonce, Prince, Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars. Last year’s show had Rihanna as the headliner. This year’s performance will be headlined by Usher.
Can you tell me a little bit about the rules?
Unlike other sports, each team is split into two groups: offence and defence. The team that has the ball plays their offence and attacking players try to move the ball forward. The team without the ball uses their defence to try and stop the other team from scoring.
What are downs?
There are four downs. Basically, a team gets four attempts to move the ball 10 yards. If you can do that, you get another four downs. If the screen says “1and 10” that means it’s the 1st down with 10 yards to make.
How do you keep score?
The aim is to score and you score in various ways the most common being touching it down or toe score a goal by kicking the ball through the posts.
You get six points for a touchdown (when you run past the line with the ball or catch it), three points for a field goal (kicking it through the posts). You also get an extra point if you can kick the ball through the uprights after a touchdown. You also get two points for safety (two points) awarded to the defensive team when a member of the offensive team is tackled with the ball in his end zone.
How much do the teams make?
Each member of the winning team will get $164,000 while each member of the losing team will get $90,000.
Okay that’s enough about the game. Tell me something fun.
The biggest highlight of the game is supposed to be Taylor Swift’s appearance for the game. She’s coming from Japan where she performed earlier and will be cheering for her boyfriend Travis Kelce.
What about snacks?
The most popular Super Bowl snack is tortilla chips and dips with guacamole the top choice for dip followed by cheese. And of course chicken wings, unch to the chagrin of PETA. Other favourites are pizza, loaded fries, onion rings, burgers, hot dogs and mac and cheese.
Meanwhile, the top beverages during the season are: Blue Moon, Bud Light, Coors, Corona Extra, High Noon, Michelob, Modelo Especial, Sierra Nevada, Stella Artois, and for some reason Truly Hard Seltzer.
Give me some more numbers
The Allegiant Stadium holds 65,000 people. It’s expected that 68 million Americans will gamble during the match for an amount roughly around $23 billion. Interestingly, Usher won’t get a single dime for his performance but there will be other benefits.
35: Total sponsors
108: Total footballs available
165: Total CBS cameras during the event
190: Total countries where Super Bowl will be shown.
12,000: Total number of game-day staff.
$2.5 million: Cost of a luxurious suite at Allegiant Stadium
$7 million: The amount it costs for a 30-second commercial.
$20 million: The amount Patrick Mahomes earned through endorsements, licensing income and other sources.
115.1 million: Total viewers for last year’s Super Bowl.
$17.3 billion: What Americans will spend on the Super Bowl.
That’s all folks. May the best team win. Go football.
