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Sharing national heroes: Each party according to its quota

With total confusion over political parties laying claim to the legacy of great leaders, unreliable sources say an all-party meeting was called to sort out the issue. Here are the alleged minutes:

columns Updated: Mar 05, 2016 21:27 IST
Trinamool lays claim to Netaji’s memory
Trinamool lays claim to Netaji’s memory(HT file photo)

With total confusion over political parties laying claim to the legacy of great leaders, unreliable sources say an all-party meeting was called to sort out the issue. Here are the alleged minutes:

BJP: Sardar Patel was one of us, of course. But we’ll gladly give up Nehru.

Congress: Ha, fat chance, considering they were both Congressmen. But if we do give you Patel, will you give up all claims on Mahatma Gandhi?

Janata Dal (U): The Mahatma belongs to all of us.

BJP: If the Congress takes half of the Mahatma, the rest being shared by all of us, will it give us Patel and Bose?

Congress: Done, provided we have full claim on Indira. And Savarkar is all yours.

Trinamool: How can the Congress give away Bose? He’s ours, along with Tagore, Vivekananda, Satyajit Ray and Maradona.

BJP: Why should we want Ray when we already have Gajendra Chauhan? But give us a slice of Vivekananda.

Forward Bloc: Excuse me, everybody knows we have exclusive rights to Bose. But you can take Ghose if you like.

BJP: Who’s Ghose?

Forward Bloc: Aurobindo Ghose, aka Sri Aurobindo.

Trinamool: Oh, that Ghose. You can have him.

BSP: We take Ambdekar and Sant Ravidas.

READ: As old monuments decay, grand plans for Ambedkar memorials

Republican Party of India: Oh yeah?

AAP: Will you swap Ravidas for Mahatma Phule?

BJP: We’d like a bit of Ambedkar too.

CPI(M): Same here and in return we’ll give you a share of Bhagat Singh, who you know was a Marxist. Also, you’ll get Rajguru and Sukhdev as a bonus.

AIADMK: We bag Periyar.

Congress: How about swapping Bhagat Singh for Chittaranjan Das?

Trinamool: Das is ours, the commies have Das Kapital.

Shiv Sena: We are perfectly content with Shivaji, thank you.

BJP: If we’re getting into history, I bag Rana Pratap. Also Chanakya, Vikramaditya, Ashoka and Manu. Also all Aryans.

MIM: We’ll take the Mughal emperors and Tipu Sultan.

Congress: Nonsense. Akbar was plainly a Congressman. And Chandragupta and Vikramaditya clearly believed in dynastic rule and should therefore be in the Congress camp.

RPI: Wasn’t Ashoka a Buddhist and therefore one of us? We also take Eklavya. And in light of recent events, we want Mahishasura.

BSP: We claim Valmiki.

The Bahujan Samaj Party has all but appropriated the legacy of BR Ambedkar. (File Photo)

Jharkhand Mukti Morcha: Nobody can take Birsa Munda away from us. Nor Sidhu and Kanhu Murmu.

Everybody: Who?

JMM: Tribal leaders who fought the British. Funny you haven’t heard of them.

BJP: Oh heck, almost forgot the tribal vote. Will you swap all the tribal leaders for Madan Mohan Malaviya?

JMM: Who?

Samajwadi Party: Lohia is ours, as is Shah Jahan, because we have the Taj.

Congress: Will you swap Maulana Azad, Tilak, Gokhale and Annie Besant for half Lohia?

CPI(M): What about international icons? We claim Marx, Lenin and Che Guevara.

CPI: We have just one claim — Kanhaiya Kumar.

Manas Chakravarty is consulting editor, Mint

The views expressed are personal

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