The best Bollywood films always leave you with at least one unanswered question. Here’s some popcorn for thought:
1. What if Simran had jumped into the closest bogie instead of running half the length of the train to Raj’s outstretched hand? This is officially Bollywood’s deepest darkest mystery. There should be a reward for coming up with an acceptable answer to this.
2. What if someone actually weighed Sunny Deol ka haath and found that it was not dhai kilo ka!? Would our understanding of the world and its concepts of measurement change forever??
3. What would happen if Tuffy aka the white ‘pomerian’ in every Barjatya film was just a normal dog and not some ESP-possessing superhero sent by the good Lord above?! Who would make everything alright at the end between Nisha and Prem! 4. How does every person at every filmi shaadi follow the hero and heroine’s impromptu dance steps with perfect coordination but getting three people to do five basic steps at your friend’s sangeet is the hardest thing EVER?!
5. What IS the Ande Ka Funda? Why does that song finish without ever truly explaining it!
6. Why are filmi siblings (especially from the ’70s and ’80s) always on the opposite ends of the morality scale – one is an imaandaar ‘pulees afsar’ and his bhai a smug smuggler? Why can’t they ever have normal professions like being an accountant and an engineer?
5. What IS the Ande Ka Funda? Why does that song finish without ever truly explaining it!
6. Why are filmi siblings (especially from the ’70s and ’80s) always on the opposite ends of the morality scale – one is an imaandaar ‘pulees afsar’ and his bhai a smug smuggler? Why can’t they ever have normal professions like being an accountant and an engineer?
7. Why is the medical fraternity not taking inspiration from Rajinikanth and Mithun films?! Clearly the easiest way to deal with a brain tumour is to shoot a bullet at it... In one ear, out from the other.
From HT Brunch, November 24
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