I invest in the markets, everybody knows that. Therefore I'm involved in Market-ing...right.But there are many other people out there who are involved in a completely different type of marketing. One that involves the process of confusing the FU*K out of the customer so that she/he ends up buying something he thinks he needs but doesn't actually require.
The diabolical complexity of the science of selling to consumers is astonishingly beautiful. I would know! I've invested money in many companies who know how to market a product.
For example - if you want to sell SH*T, then you must convince the buyer that what he/she is buying is not crap but high quality fertilizer instead.
Similarly, take a look at the effect of MARKETINGIZING (Yes, Marketingizing. I am a Great Man, I invent whatever words I want) some commonly heard words:
Carpenter = Wood Technician
Shampoo = Enhanced Hair Beautifying System
Bathtub = Life Sized Body Immersion Bowl
Osama Bin Laden = Pro Taliban Twin Towers Deconstruction Specialist
Bribery = Interactive Work Facilitation Money Exchange Service
Murderer= Life Extractor
Size Zero = Nil Fat Malnutrition Ambassador
High Fat Foods = Large Calorie Dietary Intake
Marijuana = Environment Friendly Mood Enhancing Leaf Supplement
Pritam = Open Source Music Download Enthusiast/Composer
Breast Implants= Silicone Reinforced Mammary Gland Rib Enclosure
Rajnikant Ka Baap = Pranav Dixit
Credit Card = Plastic-Made Alphanumeric Machine Readable Money Removal Device
Akshay Kumar= Acrobatic Thums Up Retrieval Cine Artist
Uday Chopra = Uday Chopra [Uday Chopra Is Unique, He Cannot Be Described, Hence the Only Term Applicable to This Extraordinary Talent is His Own Name]
Golmaal Film Series= Tusshar Kapoor Employment Scheme aka Tusshar Kapoor Kaam Yojana Abhyan
Zoozoo= Egg Headed Vodafone Promotion Humanoid
Emraan Hashmi = Lip To Lip Saliva Exchange Professional
And finally,
Awesomely Humble Supremely Sexy Fantastic Superstrong Ultra Rich Ginormously Strong Mega Entity = JHUNJHUNWALA
The Fake Jhunjhunwala is the parody writer of the popular blog 'The Secret Journal Of Rakesh Jhunjhunwala'. He likes counting money. He is a big fan of Samosas, Ice Cream,Pav Bhaji, Pizza, Garlic Bread and Beer.
His hobbies include playing Super Mario, Stalking Hot Babes and Watching B-Grade films to intensively investigate any censor board violations. He also watches Cricket and worships Sachin Tendulkar as much as he worships himself. Read more from him at
He can also be found on twitter usually ranting about Uday Chopra, The Universe and everything in between at
