Inner Realms: Overcome schadenfreude, cultivate compassion

This feeling also stems from a perceived social identity; it helps us draw a line between “them” and “us,” the outgroup we don’t like and our own “superior” ingroup. This way, the misfortune of the outgroup can feel rewarding.

Have you ever felt a little rush of joy after seeing the downfall of someone you don’t particularly like? This is what psychologists refer to as “schadenfreude”— (pronounced as shaa -duhn- froy- duh) — the joy and satisfaction we feel at others’ misfortune. We’ve all felt it at some point, even though we have been taught not to think in such a manner. In its extreme form, schadenfreude turns to jealousy; the latter too, being very common.

Psychologists refer to this as “downward social comparison.” It’s like a shot of self-esteem, reminding you that you may not be so bad after all, and that others are worse off. This can help maintain a sense of fairness in our social world. (STOCK IMAGE)

In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna warns Arjuna: “Arjuna! You have to be devoid of jealousy. Don’t get infected by this malaise.”

The popular American author Eugene Luther Gore Vidal says, “It is not enough to succeed; others must fail.”

Interestingly, research shows that our enjoyment of others’ misfortunes can be beneficial in micro doses and be very detrimental if it persists.

A study published in the European Review of Social Psychology sought to explain when and why people feel schadenfreude. The researchers found that people feel schadenfreude most intensely when it provides them with social comparisons that increase their sense of self-worth. Additional research appearing in New Ideas in Psychology has discovered that schadenfreude is borne out of our need to make social comparisons, focused on our own social status in comparison to the sufferer. During the period of demonetisation, many poor and middle-class people did not experience as much dismay at being forced to stand in long queues as compared to the pleasure they felt when told that the rich had also been made to stand in long lines.

This feeling also stems from a perceived social identity; it helps us draw a line between “them” and “us,” the outgroup we don’t like and our own “superior” ingroup. This way, the misfortune of the outgroup can feel rewarding.

Schadenfreude reminds us of that individuals who violate social justice will be punished in some way, and that, in a way, is our reward for sticking to our principles. For example, an honest person may feel very good when someone is punished for being corrupt — even if the punished person may be unknown to him. Schadenfreude can feel like a dose of cosmic justice.

We’ve all secretly enjoyed that tiny ego boost when our not-so-favorite co-worker messes up a project. Psychologists refer to this as “downward social comparison.” It’s like a shot of self-esteem, reminding you that you may not be so bad after all, and that others are worse off. This can help maintain a sense of fairness in our social world.

From these perspectives, schadenfreude serves as a psychological shield against feelings of inadequacy, reminding us that we’re not alone in our imperfections. It helps us navigate our own feelings of self-doubt, highlighting that others too have their moments of weakness.

As good as it feels to be in the moment, indulging in your schadenfreude can strain your relationships and drain your empathy reserves. Relishing in others’ misfortunes can place you on a lonely island of judgmentalism, slowly morphing you into a pessimistic and unempathetic wet blanket.

One study investigated the associations between envy, stereotypes, and schadenfreude. Concerningly, the authors explained that when an outgroup is envied, the ingroup’s experienced pleasure at the outgroup’s misfortune was associated with a willingness to harm outgroup members.

Unbridled schadenfreude can put your moral compass in jeopardy and could even lead to taking actions to ensure their downfall. When you take joy in others’ pain without considering the bigger picture, you might start sliding down a slippery slope of ethical ambiguity. This could lead to a less compassionate, more judgmental you, or even worse.

In the Sumathi Sathaka, there is a verse that teaches this lesson. “O person with good intelligence (sumathi), know that even if friendship is strong, when wrong becomes right and right becomes wrong then friendship disappears.”

The seeker has to transform into a person with good intelligence (a sumathi) and avoid turning into a person with perverted, polluted intelligence (durmathi). Envy and hatred are the sparks that destroy the cluster of virtues in people, much as they may appear to bring a false sense of peace and justice.

The secret to taming the emotional beast of schadenfreude is moderation and self-awareness. While experiencing it take a moment to pause and ask yourself why you’re feeling schadenfreude.

Is it for the secret self-esteem boost? For a sense of standing up for justice? Or is it may be a bad habit spiralling out of control? In a world where kindness and empathy are the core spiritual principles, mastering our schadenfreude is a crucial part of personal growth.

So, the next time you feel that tiny jolt of satisfaction when your frenemy stumbles, take a moment to reflect. Embrace the goodness of your morality and sense of self, but be wary of the ugly sides of your secret schadenfreude.

(Disclaimer: The views expressed are the author’s own. Parneet Sachdev is a former principal chief commissioner, income tax, and a best-selling author.)