Come winters, people generally tend to feel the shivers and their tempers subside a bit as well. Summers are seething and people’s moods are often inflammable. Yet, here are some who are perennial shouters, while others are born to be calm.
Circumstances make us what we are, of course. Company matters. So do the vibes that surround us. A huge amount of will power is needed to stay upbeat when the going gets rough or when one is surrounded by perpetrators of diatribe!
Some people evolve and others devolve, of course. Various knocks and jolts make the latter cynical and prone to venting out their angst often. A Hollywood actor has subtitled her Instagram account as “old hag” and since she looks anything but old or like a hag, she definitely means it in the wicked sense. Becoming wicked and caustic by nature is not a choice that is easily made. But it is ultimately a decision taken by a potentially balanced human being, who could have chosen to be otherwise, no matter what the circumstances.
There are millions who have made the opposite choice. To remain civil and amiable despite grave challenges and even dastardly conditions. Mother Teresa once went to a hutment colony where the poorest of the poor subsisted. She was handing over small bags of rice to them. One truly impoverished lady expressed her extreme gratefulness upon receiving the said offering from the messiah. But Mother Teresa was bowled over by the lady’s next few words. “I will hand over half the rice to my friend in another colony. Her family needs it even more than mine!” The poor and needy cannot afford to be rude. They are often heartbroken but never harsh, unless circumstances are beyond their control. Rudeness is the exclusive prerogative of the high and mighty.
{{/usCountry}}There are millions who have made the opposite choice. To remain civil and amiable despite grave challenges and even dastardly conditions. Mother Teresa once went to a hutment colony where the poorest of the poor subsisted. She was handing over small bags of rice to them. One truly impoverished lady expressed her extreme gratefulness upon receiving the said offering from the messiah. But Mother Teresa was bowled over by the lady’s next few words. “I will hand over half the rice to my friend in another colony. Her family needs it even more than mine!” The poor and needy cannot afford to be rude. They are often heartbroken but never harsh, unless circumstances are beyond their control. Rudeness is the exclusive prerogative of the high and mighty.
{{/usCountry}}A rather well-off family was to travel by a flight and the airline announced a delay due to weather conditions. The poor airline representative at the airport had to face the brunt of boorish behaviour from the said pompous family. And to make matters worse, most of the other passengers started misbehaving with the little lady as well. Security had to be called in, and neutral onlookers were pleased to see that the security incharge gave such a scolding to the head of the said family that he quickly forgot his pomposity thereafter!
Our conduct is a matter of choice. It is we who decide how we are to behave on a given day. Some people are mercurial while others are consistent. Our moodiness often gets the better of us and we succumb. We might then speak with a certain lack of finesse or to put it bluntly, with acerbic iciness that surpasses all acceptable norms, particularly if we “lose it” in public.
A study on rudeness at work places, led by Binyamin Cooper of Carnegie Melon University, states this: “While small insults and other forms of rude behaviour might seem relatively harmless compared to more serious forms of aggression, our findings suggest that they can have serious consequences.”
It is a matter of fact that one caustic word uttered by a boss, a teacher or a parent, in unbridled anger, might harm the recipient’s psyche for a long time to come. Those in positions of power in society are meant to be even more responsible than others for each little fragment of their conduct. If they are unable to rein in their tendency to lose control, they are sure to cause much more harm than good in whatever capacity they are operating.
A wise man once said, “Words once spoken cannot be recalled!” There is also a saying in a lighter vein that advises people to sort out small arguments through fisticuffs instead of hurting other people with deeper wounds through venomous words! Not to be taken seriously of course.
The impatient nature of life itself in this era means that many people are short-fused anyway. Social media has exacerbated rudeness. We must focus on physical fitness, creative pursuits, and meditation in order to calm our minds.
The rudeness index hasn’t been invented yet. Let’s hope it never sees the light of day!
vivek.atray@gmail.com