The discerning poet always gets it right, somehow. He or she conveys within the expanse of very few words, intense thoughts that a writer of prose struggles to describe in many paragraphs.
“Baat karni, mujhe mushkil, kabhi aisi toh na thi (I never found it as difficult as it is now, to speak to you)”; in these few words, Mughal emperor, Bahadur Shah Zafar, the lyricist of the supreme ghazal that begins such, was able to portray the stumbling hesitation of the protagonist in unburdening his soul by lending verbal expression to the weighty thoughts that ladened his mind.
Romantic stirrings very often leave participating human beings tongue-tied, at an utter loss for words, especially if the subject of their unstinted admiration possesses a persona that is verily imposing. Storytellers have attempted through many centuries to describe the extent and depth of the longing that one soul has for another, but the actual experience of that moment can never quite be described even by the most felicitous relator of tales.
Unsaid words often cause more harm than harsh statements that are pointedly hurtful. By not stating what should have been shared, an individual risks the creation of misunderstandings that are far more deep-rooted.
{{/usCountry}}Unsaid words often cause more harm than harsh statements that are pointedly hurtful. By not stating what should have been shared, an individual risks the creation of misunderstandings that are far more deep-rooted.
{{/usCountry}}Another brilliant ghazal goes like this: “Tum itna joh muskura rahe ho, voh kya hai gham jo chhupa rahe ho (What exactly is the pain that you’re concealing through your exaggerated smile?)” By pretending that everything is hunky dory in our lives and not sharing even with our closest ones the sense of disarray that our minds find themselves in, we are probably doing more harm than good.
Many a love story could not find fruition because he did not declare his love, or she didn’t. Many a life-long embitterment needn’t have persisted if the person concerned had only apologised to the other. Many an opportunity wouldn’t have gone abegging had a youthful hopeful found the gumption to speak up when it truly mattered!
Sometimes it is only at the very end of life, when an individual is losing the battle and becomes emotional, that he finally realises the futility of having ignored his loved ones and having chased material gains instead.
Spouses often keep close to their hearts thoughts that could be and should be espoused in words through conversations over cups of coffee or tea. Relationships may sour simply because a matter was not discussed before being acted upon. At times, misgivings or misapprehensions can turn out to be unwonted and off the mark, but the thinker does not share his thoughts with the other, even if there is love between them.
Hilarious situations can also arise when people decide not to have conversations. One recalls the old joke about a couple not being on talking terms and passing written slips to each other, instead. The husband writes “Wake me up at 6 am” and hands her the slip before dozing off, only to rise at 7.30 am and discover a small piece of paper in his vicinity, in her beautiful handwriting, stating boldly, “Wake up! It’s 6 o’ clock!”
Politicians and world leaders would also do well to carry out more discussions with those who hold opposing viewpoints. The world could be a much better place if the comfort levels, one-on-one, of those playing powerful roles upon the firmament of the globe, were significantly better. The ego plays a major role in holding people back from reaching out, at all levels, from warring employees at a junior level, to heads of political parties, who should theoretically know better.
Meaningful conversations can resolve many an impasse and create greater bonding between humans. In this era of texting a lot and listening only a bit, the worthiness of an undistracted tete-a-tete can simply not be overemphasised. The next time one dithers while pondering over whether to meet that old friend for coffee or not, one should act rather than procrastinate. Conversations with friends who care can leave us feeling much bouncier than before.
And if you love someone, but haven’t told them in a while that you do, please go right ahead and say the magic words!
vivek.atray@gmail.com