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Spice of Life | Struggles to strength, a happier you in 2025
Make-up, jewellery, clothes, holidays, drinks, parties are not happiness, they are distractions to escape your real life, and these material possessions will never help fill the void that yearns for human connect
“I’m enjoying, Bua. I’m playing right now,” exclaimed my five-year-old niece on her birthday when I called to wish her. Her voice was bursting with innocence and pure, unfiltered joy. For a moment I couldn’t help but feel envious of her unconditional happiness, the one that comes so naturally to children.
It stirred me and made me reflect: When was the last time I jumped in joy and felt that kind of excitement? When was the last time I got lost in the moment without overthinking? When was the last time I met someone genuinely happy and truly healthy? Of late, ever since I’ve turned 40, I’ve noticed a shift within myself, a deeper sensitivity to the world around. I’ve begun observing people even more closely and feeling their pain more empathetically.
Somebody rightly said that life begins after 40, in fact it becomes more human, more meaningful, more layered and messier! Over the past few years, friends and acquaintances from across the world have confided in me about their daily problems and anxiety issues. I feel humbled and fortunate to have been a listening ear to them, because at times all we need is someone to validate our feelings and just say, “I hear you. I see you.” But what if we could listen to our own selves every day and be our best friends?
Witnessing a dozen around me going through mental health challenges, it seems as if everyone is suffering, and pain is universal, only their struggles are different. They are all trying to cope and put up a brave face. So are we! We keep pushing down so much to go through our day smiling although we all are aware that emotions suppressed over time manifest themselves to cause physical ailments and at times the deadliest ones.
The book, Heal your Life by Louise Hay, speaks about numerous health problems and the probable thought pattern behind it. She implores readers to release their blocked emotions to heal. As we sat around the bonfire on the last day of 2024 discussing the lessons the year had taught us, my teenaged son and his friend opened up about their emotional realisations. We spoke about the importance of making way for tears that are held back as emotions buried don’t disappear.
Healing happens only when we are honest with ourselves. Let us make it okay to express and not just behave to impress. Posting the perfect vacation picture on your Instagram handle won’t handle the matters you have left unresolved inside you. Make-up, jewellery, clothes, holidays, drinks, parties are not happiness, they are distractions to escape your real life, and these material possessions will never help fill the void that yearns for human connect.
Build a life that you don’t want to escape, one that revolves around purpose and not pleasures. And if you still catch yourself stressed remind yourself the words of Khalil Gibran, “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”
nazam81@gmail.com
The writer is a Hoshiarpur-based freelance contributor
