And so, when an incredible colleague returned to our college staffroom after taking class, she shared that she had asked her students to give their spontaneous answers to the questions: What makes you the happiest, and what makes you the saddest? It set everyone in the staffroom thinking; and, we began chipping in with our own responses, thus getting to know each other even better and bonding stronger.
That’s the beauty of thinking out-of-the-box: It lends an irreplaceable charm to our existence. For instance, when one of our colleagues jokingly said that she feels the happiest when she is able to postpone a task, we all couldn’t help but burst out laughing. When another amazing staff member shared that she was the happiest whenever she got to tidy up and put things in order, our jaws dropped. I good-humouredly forbade her from entering my room if she ever visited my home; for my room, though not messy, isn’t highly systematic either. Another remarkable colleague shared that the mere mention of a trip has her beaming; to which another wonderful friend replied that in younger days she, too, would cheer up at any prospect of an outing but now she preferred being like a crocodile post its meal on a sunny winter day!
Guards were lowered and merry guffaws continued while we took leave of each other as office hours finished. However, the queries kept themselves alive in my mind and some other things that occurred to me as happiness-inducing for myself were connecting with people, being of help to others, watching my 10-year-old son expend his energy in constructive pursuits, receiving a compliment, and reading a book on a rainy day.
{{/usCountry}}Guards were lowered and merry guffaws continued while we took leave of each other as office hours finished. However, the queries kept themselves alive in my mind and some other things that occurred to me as happiness-inducing for myself were connecting with people, being of help to others, watching my 10-year-old son expend his energy in constructive pursuits, receiving a compliment, and reading a book on a rainy day.
{{/usCountry}}What makes me sad? Misunderstanding(s), rudeness, and, here, too, I can go on, but why ponder over what makes me sad when life is meant to be a celebration?
Such activities/ice-breaking sessions should be compulsory not just in teaching institutes but in all sorts of places. Even though we teachers spend most of the working days’ awake hours within college and in each other’s company, such posers help us get to know each other better. It takes me back to my college days when ‘truth or dare’ was a game in vogue; it was actually just a different version of what I’m advocating here: Finding ways of opening up to each other. In any case, as dividing lines between home and work are blurring every day, this approach is not a choice but necessary.
However, there are three mantras that are a must when such conversations are carried out. Firstly, it’s mutual respect despite any and many individual differences. Everyone has their set of upbringing, mental make-up, strengths and weaknesses. To rise above these and recognise each other as a being that deserves respect is a dire need.
Secondly, a non-judgemental attitude: To accept each other as we are can lead us to a much-desired egalitarian society. There can be statements by our fellow-people that we feel like immediately negating, or reacting to in a harsh manner. But a momentary pause can make a world of difference here.
Thirdly, when we see or find something worth appreciating, let us resolve to convey the same. If, for any reason, one finds it tough to articulate compliments, one can always resort to a WhatsApp message with apt smileys – for as I once read, “It is always worthwhile to convey your admiration. And, it is better if you say it directly, but it can be easier expressed in writing. Either way, do convey.” Golden practical advice I always try to stick to, indeed.
The writer is a Jagadhri-based freelance contributor. She can be reached at reemaban@gmail.com