Ask the Expert: 'I'm in love with my teacher'

"I thought it was infatuation, but it is not like that. Please help."Submit your query

My wife abandoned me and took both of my children (aged 7 and respectively). Her mother instigates her and wants her to do as she desires. My wife dislikes my parents and does not want to stay with them. They are old and need medical attention. She is away for now more than two months and with my in-laws. She also does not allow my children to be shown to my parents.

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I am in distress and want to end my life. Can law help me? To further tell you she was not working earlier but has now started working since my in-laws want money from her. I am a middle level executive in the huge organisation and earn well. Pls help me to have an amicable settlement in my life or suicide is the only alternative?
Sex: M
Age: 34
Your problem is one of those situations when biases and prejudices reign supreme.Your family seems to be having severe communication problem.I would suggest to you that before thinking of drastic 'solutions',think of common sense solutions.Think of meeting a marriage counsellor. Even if your wife does not agree for sittings you begin your sessions. There is a lot that needs to be repaired at your end.

Remember, a broken psyche will never help mend the situation. You are a father to two growing children. You must behave in a manner which should be an inspiration to them in their lives. You have to teach them that problems are part and parcel of life. One has to strive to resolve them with or without help. Important is that one strives and strives with conviction. Your duty does not end at providing them with facilities and necessities but also to teach them the healthy nuances of life.

Life never offers any problem which does not have a solution. Your effort has to begin and begin with confidence and a committment to your children.

Remain in touch.

I have a crush on my wife's best friend . She does not know that. PLease let me know how shall I convey this to her. I feel strongly that she also has a crush for me which she has expressed in eyes and eye to eye contact.
Sex: M
Age: 32
I think you already know what needs to be done. If you are happy with the institution of marriage you will have to get away from the undefined yet, interesting relationship.

Remember that such adventures do feel interesting but they prove to be costly, in terms of family and bondings. Think twice before you leap in the dark.

I am not able to understand wat I shud do. Actually I'm in love with my teacher. She's 24. I had xpressed my feelings to her but she was already having an affair. Now she got married. Plz tell me wat shud I do? Now I am not able to forget her. Initially I thought it was just an infatuation but it's not like dat.
Age: 17
Gender: Male
You are in that developmental phase where all emotions will apppear to be overwhelming. Be it anger, hatred or 'love'. What youngsters of your age experience is an intense liking for people which they define as 'love'. But that is not what it actually is all about. This is your first chance to feel emotional and appreciative about a woman. She possesses qualities which you as an adult would probably appreciate. Remember you are about to evolve as an adult. You have begun to experience feelings which are adult-like. Do not get misguided by them. All this is a good sign that you are evolving as a healthy and normal adult. Adulthood is a responsible phase. Mature yourself to experience more of such turbulent emotions.

Involving yourself in every intense emotion would not be advisable. Preserve the experience as a nice memory. Without remorse, without guilt move forward. Life awaits you.

I am a married woman for the past 4 years. My husband is a good person but my in-laws always create problem in our relationship. My husband is still a mama and dad's boy who can't see any flaws in his parents. They used to live in there hometown earlier but are living with us from past 5 months and take care of my 6-month-old baby. I am very much frustrated and don't know how to get rid of them. I'm working presently but I am thinking of leaving the job so that I can take care of my kid and get rid of them. Please suggest how should I convince my husband that his parents are very shrewd and are always playing tricks on me. Now his brother has also joined them and he will be here for two months. Please tell me what to do
Age: 28
Gender: Female
You seem to be overworked and stressed beyond what you can comfortably handle. Marriage takes some time to establish. That in itself is quite a responsibility. You have a small baby and a job to look after. Stress is expected.

Begin afresh. Cool down, take a deep breath. Husbands do not have to reject their parents to make their marriage successful. Neither do you have to become paranoid to acheive success in marriage. Marriage is mutual system. Since wife belongs to a different family, she has to make a beginning in trust building. You will have to do two things - one,to start looking for atleast one positive aspect of your in-laws. Second, stop secluding yourself from the family.

Learn to sit with them, smile at them. Show courtesy. All this is not to impress them. It is to retain the goodness of your own self. As a matter of rule, stress takes away whatever good we have as an individual. It is quite capable of making us 'rotten souls'. Prevent this. Don't lose your goodness under any circumstanse. Your child would need that to grow as a healthy adult.

Our expert Seema Sharma is a Clinical Psychologist with a degree in Medical & Social Psychology from National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro Sciences, Bangalore. She has been running a psychotherapy clinic named 'SAMADHAN' in Meerut dealing specifically with the cases of psychotherapy and psychodiagnostics since 1991.

You can contact her on the following numbers:
(O) 0121 - 2763441, 2769984-85, (R) 0121 - 2760341)