belle de jour -01.02.2005

Was talking to J. He doesn't know about the book yet, but it is only a matter of time until I will have to tell him. What he does know is to screen all calls, and if it isn't one of a very small number of people, don't answer the phone.

jeudi 3 février
Was talking to J. He doesn't know about the book yet, but it is only a matter of time until I will have to tell him. What he does know is to screen all calls, and if it isn't one of a very small number of people, don't answer the phone.

HT Image

Some people spend time and money hoping to be thinner or more beautiful. Others, effort to become richer, more successful. Several thousand think auditioning for Pop Idol is the way to fame. A few devote their energy to academic achievement. Most of us, instead of all this, simply play the lottery. We hope for talents, abilities and luck that will never happen.

If I could wish for anything impossible it would be to be funny. Anyone can tell a joke, but real-time humour is a gift. And J is one of the funniest people I know.

He's not successful by any material measure. "I have nothing to offer but live entertainment," he says. It's been great so far.

The other night we were talking seriously. I came very close to telling him, but didn't. It's not because I think he would object, disappear from my life, or judge me. He's been honest about his past and expects nothing in return; I'm just picking the moment.

"It's not anything illegal," I said. "If I make it through this, there will be one hell of an autobiography to write when I'm sixty."

"I look forward to reading it," he said. He'll be there. I know it, somehow.

// posted by belle @ 3:26 PM