For the uninitiated, golf may well be an acronym for Game for Overweight Loafers and Fogies. But for the police and other security forces, there’s no such confusion, as the popularity of the sport is spreading like, what else, bird flu.
Enterprising officers have turned this sudden passion into an unexploited opportunity. For them, golf is the shortest route to the ears of the top brass. And if you have the boss’s ear, there is no limit to how far you can go. No wonder many low ‘handicappers’ today owe their rising career-graph to this game. The first information requires intelligence on whether the new boss plays golf or not. Even if he does not, all is not lost, for he can be gently initiated — by none other than the subordinate.
We had just such a Joint Commissioner of Police (JCP) — a portly, avuncular man of about 50, whose recent victim was the Commissioner of Police (CP). To keep the CP’s interest alive in the game, the JCP organised a tournament between police and private members of the club. At stake was the championship and several individual prizes. The JCP had to ensure not only the overall victory of police team but also an individual prize for the CP.
On the tournament day, golfing conditions were ideal, yet I spoiled my round.
{{/usCountry}}On the tournament day, golfing conditions were ideal, yet I spoiled my round.
{{/usCountry}}Sitting in a corner of the club-house I was mulling over my rash drives and three-putts, when some team-mates disclosed that the CP had finished with a score of 85.
The CP, being a beginner, could not have played below 100 but knowing that the JCP was strategically in the boss’s foursome, we expected some ‘moderation’ in scoring. However, a card of 85 was sure to make a laughing stock of us, even where lying about one’s score is dismissed as a minor memory lapse unworthy of gentlemen’s notice.
So, to salvage the situation, we confronted the JCP squarely. Fortunately, he had not yet submitted the scorecard. Looking at the opposition, he relented. After some haggling, a score of 92 was considered appropriate and accordingly, the CP’s card was submitted.
Police won the championship. When all but one prize had been given away and
none had come the CP’s way, I thought for once, the JCP’s backroom manoeuvres had failed. Just then the last prize was announced — the prize for the Best Debutant Golfer went to the top cop. As the CP rose
to receive his prize amid cheers, the JCP’s face glowed with the satisfaction of a job well done.
However, the police really took the cake when he, accepting the prize, said modestly, “This should do for me, for my handicap is my honesty.”