Rannvijay wrote a great column this week about the art (or lack thereof) of The Male Pick-Up Line. It was refreshing to hear him write about how cheesy and corny and sometimes offensive pick-up lines are. It’s horrid having a guy come up to me and think there’s some kind of “trick” that will win me over.
It’s always infinitely more attractive for a man’s real colour to show through, whether it’s a bit of shyness, confidence, or humour. In fact, I’m a sucker for humour. Make me laugh and there’s a high chance I’ll at least want to talk to you, if not date you! But talking gives us both a moment to see if there’s real chemistry, rather than some hokey pick-up line which makes me want to search for a sick-bag.
So girls, what’s our role in this scenario? How can we encourage men not to try and win us over with the “right” moves and the “right” words? Simple: when a real guy approaches you, be kind! It takes a lot of guts to come up to a stranger and put yourself out there by expressing interest. Whether the man seems shy or confident, don’t shoot him down, it’s just not nice. If someone’s offensive that’s a totally different story, but if all a guy is doing is trying to get to know you, be gracious! If you’re not interested, say thank you and let him down gently. All the women in his future will thank you for not scarring him and making him afraid to approach or compliment women!
Which brings me to another common mistake I see women making all the time. Picture this: boy and girl on date. Both have obviously put some effort into the evening; the girl is wearing sexy stilettos and glowing make-up, the boy is freshly shaved and in a crisply-ironed shirt. They’re leaning forward over the table and smiling, you can practically feel the chemistry! And then it happens. He compliments her. Maybe it was the sparkle in her eye, or the light of her smile, maybe even her beautiful dress, but he takes note and tells her. He knows women like to be flattered and he genuinely feels an attraction for her and makes the effort to let her know. What does she do in return?
{{/usCountry}}Which brings me to another common mistake I see women making all the time. Picture this: boy and girl on date. Both have obviously put some effort into the evening; the girl is wearing sexy stilettos and glowing make-up, the boy is freshly shaved and in a crisply-ironed shirt. They’re leaning forward over the table and smiling, you can practically feel the chemistry! And then it happens. He compliments her. Maybe it was the sparkle in her eye, or the light of her smile, maybe even her beautiful dress, but he takes note and tells her. He knows women like to be flattered and he genuinely feels an attraction for her and makes the effort to let her know. What does she do in return?
{{/usCountry}}Ladies, whatever you do, don’t argue with him! Don’t say you hate your smile or don’t think you’re attractive. Why women do this is beyond me. The poor guy is trying to compliment you, it frustrates him if you just reject the flattery. Besides, if you think a dress makes you look fat, why would you want to draw his attention to that?
Women are so afraid of appearing conceited they’ll do almost anything rather than accept a compliment. But believe me, nothing is more feminine, gracious and attractive than simply smiling and saying thank you. Admit it, you liked the compliment anyway, didn’t you?
Write to me at anoushka.shankar@hindustantimes.com