Goodness gracious them!

One expects a Briton living in India to know that a ?Wine and Beer Shop? in India also sells liquor.

In 18th and 19th century British-ruled India, ‘griffins’ — newly arrived officers from Britain — would be thoroughly confused by the mores of the new country. It was their duty to quickly pick up local customs and modes of behaviour, that of the colonised as well as of the coloniser. Those who integrated with British Indian society went on to be accepted by the local milieu. More importantly, settling down to ‘British Indianness’ meant the griffins themselves becoming comfortable in their new surroundings. Nearly 60 years after the departure of the last griffins, the ‘assimilation’ shoe is on the other foot: that of 21st century Britain.

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Today’s griffins are Indian passport-holders who have settled in Britain. But there is a small toofan brewing in an Earl Grey cup over the new ‘Britishness’ test that an Indian citizen living in Britain has to pass. A section of Indians in Britain are already grumbling, protesting against the supposed attempt by the British government to “make Britons of us all”. So what kind of test does London have in mind for Indian settlers? One question, for instance, is: what do you do when you spill someone’s pint of beer in a pub. The wrong answer: say, “Drinking is bad for you. I’m glad I spilled your drink.” (Which, incidentally, could be the right answer in Porbander.) The correct answer: say, “Sorry, guv, let me get you that beer.” In other words, to settle down in any country — as opposed to becoming a citizen of that country — one has to know the popular culture of its society, multi-cultural as it may be.