Jus?talking: Exams don?t matter in the long run

The need to perform at exams, like a flea in a circus, is an illusory need.

Many students apparently contemplate suicide at this time. I can completely understand —when confronted with the structures of organic chemistry for the first time that is surely a natural reaction.

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It’s quite unfunny when people actually do it or even seriously think about it. I wonder why they do it: is it the sight of the equations or whatever, or the thought of “what will happen if I don’t do well in the exams”? I guess the equations by themselves hold no terror; it’s the fear of failure that drives people to depression.

Frankly, that fear comes from an inaccurate assessment of consequences. All that I have seen in life so far suggests that no permanent damage happens if someone flunks an exam or three. Life is a lot longer than it might appear when you’re staring failure – in studies, in work, or love – in the face. And the thing about it is, it goes on.

A classmate of mine committed suicide when we were in high school. He was a good student, but was facing a failed relationship, and had trouble at home. And the exams were coming up. He found a friend in an older boy of dark moods who played the guitar like mad, and smoked grass all day. My friend began to play the drums like mad. And he got smoking, and wore his hair long, and became this darkly obsessive character. Then one night he played the drums late into the night, and ate poison.

The older boy of the dark moods did not come for his funeral. He passed his exams and is now happily married; a regular chap with a regular life.

If my friend were alive, I have no doubt he would be doing quite well, in work and in life. Except that he chose to go where there’s no coming back. Perhaps he had second thoughts after eating that poison; I wonder.

If death was not so permanent, I guess it would be fine to jump off a cliff on impulse. Since it is permanent, no one should die on a whim. That’s what most suicides are: momentary decisions. If people think it over long enough, discuss their situation with someone older and wiser, and form a calm assessment of what ails them, they usually see their problem for what it really is. Illusions drop away.

The need to perform at exams, like a flea in a circus, is an illusory need. Exam results do NOT decide the quality of our lives. They may have short-term consequences, but those are very temporary. When you’re in your job, no one is going to be impressed if you tell them you were the school topper in your boards. They may laugh at you, however. And similarly, no one is going to shun you if you tell them you flunked a paper once – they would probably find it funny, and by then, so would you.

French philosopher Voltaire wrote a story called Zadig. The way I remember it, Zadig is a traveller who goes to this place where the women commit suicide when their husbands die. Zadig somehow becomes king of this place, and he decrees that the bereaved woman should spend one hour alone with a charming young man before taking her life. The new king’s decree sounds reasonable and people obey it. Soon, the custom of wives killing themselves quietly vanishes.

It’s like that with exams too. I wish someone would decree that anyone who wants to commit suicide because of fear of failure should spend an hour with a person like Bill Gates who dropped out of college. After that, if they still think their life will be over if they don’t get ‘X’ marks in an exam, well, it’s their life.