Travelling instead of traveling, centre instead of center, colour instead of color, humour (do the Brits have any?) instead of humor is all okay. The difference is only in writing, ain’t it? Oops, that should have been ‘is it not?’ (with a stiff upper lip, of course). But when it comes to speaking, it’s not a cakewalk.
Two and a half years ago, when I first placed headphones over my head and made a call to Mr Morgan in Leicestershire, nobody in the call centre I’d just joined warned me about the (in)famous Brit humour. The phone was answered by a lady who said she was the gatekeeper. I started to chuckle; Ms (Mizz) Jenna did not. She handed the phone over to Mr Morgan, who afterwards exclaimed that Ms Jenna was a better gatekeeper than Mr Stewart. Now it was Mr Morgan’s turn to chuckle and mine to keep quiet.
Ian, our site director, later told me about the faux pas I had committed in my first ever call. A gatekeeper, in British parlance, is like a secretary and/or an assistant. Ian also told me to pitch in with a little giggle when I heard the Englishman or lady on the other end doing so. There is very little chance of us understanding them anyway, said Ian, starting to laugh.
That was then. I was on the phones for at least a year before I got promoted and joined the communications function. But I can’t say ‘Cheers!’ while hanging up or ending a conversation. I still sometimes say ‘Sir’ or ‘Ma’am’ even though I know these titles are frowned upon. Now, who in his right mind would get upset at being addressed as ‘Sir’? Not me. I get a kick when I am being addressed with that prefix. But the Brits, no sir, you cannot.
{{/usCountry}}That was then. I was on the phones for at least a year before I got promoted and joined the communications function. But I can’t say ‘Cheers!’ while hanging up or ending a conversation. I still sometimes say ‘Sir’ or ‘Ma’am’ even though I know these titles are frowned upon. Now, who in his right mind would get upset at being addressed as ‘Sir’? Not me. I get a kick when I am being addressed with that prefix. But the Brits, no sir, you cannot.
{{/usCountry}}And ‘mate’! I thought ‘mate’ was an Australian trademark. Obviously, I was wrong mate. Imagine calling everyone ‘friend’ or ‘dost’ at least ten times during a conversation. Well, that’s what the Brits do, mate. And so do a lot of my mates who have spent as many as two weeks in Britain.
And British humour, the less said about it, the better. I mean, try asking a Brit their favourite question: “So, how’s the weather there?” What kind of an answer do you expect: ‘Fine’ or ‘It’s Ok’ or ‘It’s raining’ or ‘It’s sunny’ etc. But what do you get: “Exactly like Mr Blair’s policies on Iraq, mate”, and a chuckle!
I have had it. No sir, I cannot speak like a Brit. I will say cheers when I clink beer mugs with friends, not when I am hanging up a phone. I will not ask about the weather when I know that it rains almost every day in London. And most importantly, I will not laugh when I don’t understand their humour.