Eighteen, fresh-faced, and with a million prayers for a boyfriend, it becomes obvious that finding an Indian boy to take home to Mum will not be easy. The main reason for this is the lingo used by modern day desi 'rude boys' on campus.
Imagine the first few months of university where days feel like months and everything is still alien. Locating lecture halls and bookshops is a major problem, so the next logical step is to ask the Hrithik Roshan look-alike for help. But he mutters something along the lines of 'ask that Brair' and points in the direction of a thousand other students. So you look around, wonder what a 'brair' is and eventually give up. A few weeks later the same word crops up in conversation, and it is here that the mystery unfolds. A 'Brair' means man. Such are the terms used by modern day 'munde.' It doesn't end there.
'Good Morning' isn't part of their vocabulary. The popular method is to utter 'Safe'-that sounds like a grunt when said - accompanied by minimum eye contact and a quick handshake. The next topic of conversation is usually based on the previous nights shenanigans. If a fight took place in a campus room, and a friend happened to save the day for the person who lives to tell the tale, than he is called his 'breadwin'. Short for 'breadwinner', it means the two friends will be joined together at the hip for the remaining university years, breaking empty beer bottles over the heads of anyone who interferes in their lives.
Words used to describe women- they call us 'birds'- are baffling, especially for students bought up on a diet of correct English. If a lady is dating someone than she is his 'girl' (property) and no 'brair' should try to muscle in on her. If he happens to take the chance, all hell breaks loose. 'Crews' (a group of 5-10men, all friends of the man whose 'bird' is supposedly being mishandled) arrive at the university campus ready for battle. They dress in baggy jeans and trendy tops, carry weapons (and egos) bigger than Eminem and scream out phrases like 'We're gonna screw you' (we are going to harm you) until blood is shed and the girl is returned to her rightful owner.
When they go on dates with their girlfriends and all carnal desires have been satisfied, compliments on her appearance tumble out. He will say she looked 'fit' (pretty) and had a set of 'fine' (very nice) legs. After endless nights spent clubbing, a common term is 'I was chirpsing her.' This implies he has been lucky and the lady he spent hours staring at has finally given in to his charm.
Words used to describe women- they call us 'birds'- are baffling, especially for students bought up on a diet of correct English. If a lady is dating someone than she is his 'girl' (property) and no 'brair' should try to muscle in on her. If he happens to take the chance, all hell breaks loose. 'Crews' (a group of 5-10men, all friends of the man whose 'bird' is supposedly being mishandled) arrive at the university campus ready for battle. They dress in baggy jeans and trendy tops, carry weapons (and egos) bigger than Eminem and scream out phrases like 'We're gonna screw you' (we are going to harm you) until blood is shed and the girl is returned to her rightful owner.
When they go on dates with their girlfriends and all carnal desires have been satisfied, compliments on her appearance tumble out. He will say she looked 'fit' (pretty) and had a set of 'fine' (very nice) legs. After endless nights spent clubbing, a common term is 'I was chirpsing her.' This implies he has been lucky and the lady he spent hours staring at has finally given in to his charm.
Boy's nights out have specific terms too. To spend the night boozing is to have a 'session.' Throw in some drugs to accompany that, and the proposition is to go 'blazing'. As the cocktails take effect and they sit around with their eyes rolled back in their heads, the next day stories will center on them being 'stoned.'
Neither do they say 'Goodbye.' Instead they touch fists-like two cricketers on a century stand-and say 'I have to chip.' As I struggle to figure out the Indian boy lingo, I have finally accepted that my Raj Kumar is not waiting on campus. If anything, he is probably busy talking in a language that makes no sense off it!