THE STAFF officer mulled over a confidential note just received from superior headquarters giving out details of the impending 'inspection tour' of the General who had recently taken over reins of his new command. There had been a flurry of activity in the field station ever since the news of his taking over was first broken. The local chief, a one star general (brigadier), had been assiduously collecting all possible information about the new boss, taking great pains in confirming and reconfirming his 'likes' and 'dislikes'. Yet, this latest 'revelation' received by his staff had left him cold and bewildered! The advisory just received cautioned that the Big Chief amongst other things had a habit of consuming 350 ml (precise to the nearest drop) of unadulterated cow's milk with the temperature strictly maintained at 45 degrees, as a 'night cap'. Considering that the brigade was deployed in a snowbound high altitude region devoid of anything even vaguely resembling a cow, this Operation 'Cow Milk' procurement was a queerly phenomenal exercise, sufficient to bring insomnia to the best of the logisticians! Yet, since the army is expected to function on the famous 'never- to- reason- why' philosophy, the brigade 'ops room' (operations room) was immediately activated and the local military brass hurriedly scrambled in, burying itself to work out a plan to ensure that the visiting boss got 'what' and 'how' he desired!
At the face of it, the whole episode may sound bizarre, but the fact of the matter is that such 'fads' of military 'Burra Sahibs' are not very uncommon. Quips an officer in benign defence, “This is not a new phenomenon, remember Monty (Field Marshal Montgomery) used to wear two cap badges and Patton was known for his foul language even in the midst of ladies”. There is an almost unending list of personal 'dos and don'ts' that do the rounds within the 'army circles'. Some cynical some friendly while others outrageously ludicrous, yet all finding unquestioned acceptance.
There was this first lady of the army, (wife of a former Chief of Army Staff), who would simply insist upon other ladies to refrain from suffixing their husbands' name alongside their own respective first names. She was known to publicly rebuke any 'errant' army wife. As a result when she visited a particular station (along with her husband, of course), all the ladies of the station were not only put through a 'crash course' to learn to address each other by respective first name instead of the usual Mrs. So & So, but in order to ensure that there were no last minute glitches, each was also made to wear a nameplate with only the respective first name inscribed, in order to please the 'visiting madam'!
Then, there was a Corps Commander who had coined his own definition of obesity, disregarding all the existing medical literature on the subject. He would grade a military unit 'unfit for war', if he found even a single obese officer in any of the units placed under his command. As a result, whenever he visited a military station within his command , the commanding officers had to either 'hide' or send their 'heavy weights' on leave to save themselves and the unit from the wrath of the visiting 'boss'!
{{/usCountry}}Then, there was a Corps Commander who had coined his own definition of obesity, disregarding all the existing medical literature on the subject. He would grade a military unit 'unfit for war', if he found even a single obese officer in any of the units placed under his command. As a result, whenever he visited a military station within his command , the commanding officers had to either 'hide' or send their 'heavy weights' on leave to save themselves and the unit from the wrath of the visiting 'boss'!
{{/usCountry}}Talking of fads one can hardly ever forget to mention a particular 'puttee' (anklet) strapped General who had spelt 'terror' not only for the terrorists but also his own subordinates, during his tenure in the Valley. Besides being an eccentric taskmaster, he had a crazy sense of 'proper military turnout' that he wanted to be strictly followed even in the midst of thick combat. He would take little time to 'dress down' any officer, irrespective of rank and appointment, if he found him not adhering to laid down 'Dress Regulations', down to authorised measurements of medal ribbons and embroidered nameplates bearing the officer's 'correct' name as it figured in the official 'Gazette
Notification'! Needless to mention that all privately acquired fancy jackets and coat parkas with emblazoned 'pseudonyms' suddenly vanished from the 'field' wardrobes of officers to avoid the General's fury emanating from his 'crazy' sense of dress discipline!
Interestingly 'harbouring' of such 'customised craze' is so old and widely accepted a phenomenon in the army that having no fad in itself is considered a fad. So if an aide de camp (ADC) of a General Saa'b sends out a missive to those under command that their 'un-whimsical' boss neither plays bridge nor golf and is a teetotaller sans any cynical streak, a silent censure emanates from one and all, as to “who, in the first place, made such a guy, a General”!