The Problems of the Super Ultra Mega Rich
If you see a customised space shuttle being driven around like a car on the road one of these days, look carefully and you might just see The Fake Jhunjhunwala at the wheel...Updated: Aug 17, 2011 15:32 IST
I've been made to constantly suffer because I am rich.
I mean is it really so hard to find a replacement for a diamond encrusted golden car door lined with precious rubies?
My delightfully snazzy
pimped out in every place possible was doing fine till I realized that I did not like the color of one of the doors. This particular door was a bit off. When someone sees me driving my expensive cars I want the pure elegance of a four wheeled drive to hit the eyes sending a sensory overload into the brain which leads to the realization that
"This right here rolling down the road is the Great One's car. I can look all I want but I can't touch because it is an object of exemplary beauty and must be venerated for it is a vessel of His Highness' Divine Body when he decides to travel by road."
Obviously with one door standing out like a sore thumb instead of blending in with the other three to compose a beautiful 4 doored vehicular harmony on the road my intention of creating a sight to behold were dashed.
I can't have any of my cars looking like that so I immediately flipped out my Platinum cell phone which runs on a 16G telecom network (16G is an intensely advanced form of the prevailing 3G network. Of course I am super rich so 16G is not a problem for Me to use) and called my chopper pilot to bring one of my industrial strength Air Force Helicopters with built-in Nuclear Warhead Capabilities to airlift my Lamborghini and have the eyesore transported by one of my streamlined premium
Luxury Ocean Liners onto the island of PROMIGDA located just off the coast of Europe.
Promigda is a luxury island most people haven't even heard about. It's like that island in that TV show
'LOST'.You can't even see the damn thing unless your net worth is beyond so many billion dollars, let alone get there. Promigda is home to the World's Coolest Automobile Customization and Body Repair Chop Shop.
I always get my Lamborghinis custom fitted there. So when my Cruise Liner deposited my car before taking me to the North Pole because I had to get some Ice as the Ice in my fridge was just not cold enough, I got a freak phone call from the mechanic.
I go through all this trouble and the guy then tells me that the rubies for my door won't be in till next week because the exclusive mine where they are drilled from deep in the Earth's Crust located on the continent of Africa is closed because of a local festival!
Ridiculous!! I can't wait one whole week to not drive my Lamborghini just because the rubies that go on my door can't be got! Therefore I bought an even more expensive space shuttle from
NASAand had it customized by
ISROto be used as a land vehicle. So if you see a Space Shuttle being driven around like a car on the streets know that it is MINE and it's only because those stupid mechanic guys couldn't procure the rubies for my Lamborghini's door.Being rich is not easy at all. So if you wanna be rich think real hard about the unique problems only the RICH face. I mean is it really so hard to find a replacement for a diamond encrusted gold car door lined with precious rubies?
Being rich is not easy at all. So if you wanna be rich think real hard about the unique problems only the RICH face. I mean is it really so hard to find a replacement for a diamond encrusted gold car door lined with precious rubies?
The Fake Jhunjhunwala is the parody writer of the popular blog 'The Secret Journal Of Rakesh Jhunjhunwala'. He likes counting money. He is a big fan of Samosas, Ice Cream, Pav Bhaji, Pizza, Garlic Bread and Beer.
His hobbies include playing Super Mario, Stalking Hot Babes and Watching B-Grade films to intensively investigate any censor board violations. He also watches Cricket and worships Sachin Tendulkar as much as he worships himself. Read more from him at http://www.rakeshjhunjhunwala.in/
He can also be found on twitter usually ranting about Uday Chopra, The Universe and everything in between at http://twitter.com/Jhunjhunwala
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First Published: Aug 10, 2011 13:10 IST