It isn’t just India. The whole world will try to categorise you according to how you look. And so, when I got into acting, I faced a bias due to my skin tone. I can’t blame the industry for this: from a larger point of view; we are to the world what we look like. We can’t run away from that fact. So, it’s best that you are comfortable with how you look.
Handle with humour
Of course, the film industry was not the first place that I encountered the bias. I have plenty of experiences in my own family because my parents are relatively fair. At 13 or 14, I fielded questions like “yaar, tu itna kaala kyun hai (why are you so dark)?” I heard the domestic help ask my mother if I was dark-skinned because I played cricket and had a tan. It was not traumatic; mostly these things were said in jest. And humour is an interesting tool: it can cover up what we feel and help us get over things as well. But things like this leave an impression. For the longest time, I thought I wasn’t good looking.
Make no mistake, as insensitive as people could be, I never felt victimised. Life has taught me to be thankful for everything, even this. But it took me a long time to unlearn the comments about my skin tone. It’s a journey and I am still gathering confidence from the smaller things in life. That’s why this is a scary time to be alive, with filters and statements like ‘that girl is pretty, but without a filter her face looks thoda ajeeb (a little strange)’ being part of normal conversations. Do I want to see myself in different colours and have people see the image and not the real me? Filters are changing our mental make-up and how we see ourselves. The world is becoming about the version of yourself you want to put out there.
{{/usCountry}}Make no mistake, as insensitive as people could be, I never felt victimised. Life has taught me to be thankful for everything, even this. But it took me a long time to unlearn the comments about my skin tone. It’s a journey and I am still gathering confidence from the smaller things in life. That’s why this is a scary time to be alive, with filters and statements like ‘that girl is pretty, but without a filter her face looks thoda ajeeb (a little strange)’ being part of normal conversations. Do I want to see myself in different colours and have people see the image and not the real me? Filters are changing our mental make-up and how we see ourselves. The world is becoming about the version of yourself you want to put out there.
{{/usCountry}}No utopias
That’s also why I don’t trust the pace at which things are changing in Bollywood. I faced the bias directly, since the norm was for the male lead to be slim and fair, while I am your average Indian male. It will take a long time for sensitivity to become part of any culture. People have to look inside themselves and evolve. While it’s true that we are more sensitive today—the jokes of a decade ago would not be considered funny today—there is no utopian society. That’s one of those high-flying ideas that will never be reality.
(As told to Karishma Kuenzang)
Namit Das, 37, is an actor known for his role in the series A Suitable Boy. He also pursues music with his band.
I Say Chaps is an occasional guest column that allows passionate, creative people a platform to have their say.
From HT Brunch, April 23, 2022
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