An actor’s life is uncertain. Superstars perhaps have back-to-back shoots, but even they know all the while that this will not last forever. And critically-acclaimed actors who are not ‘stars’? Well, they often have a lot of down time.
This could be depressing. In fact, for many of us, months of down time would literally mean months of downheartedness. However, it could also turn out to be positive, as actor Shefali Shah learnt three years ago when she realised she wanted to invest more in her passion.
In 2018, when she did not have work, Shefali made a choice that turned out to be “easily one of the best decisions” of her life. “I was nearly jobless, so I decided to pursue my art and went for a course in Barcelona,” she says.
Life of learning
Her decision to move to Barcelona was not aimless or arbitrary. Shefali thought out her decision very well, including not only logistics in her planning, but also the emotions she might feel at the reality of being a student all over again. When she researched art courses online, she came across a three-four month residency programme at Metàfora in Barcelona, and picked that one.
Her lack of previous formal training worried her, of course. “I’m not a student of art; I don’t know my work really well. I was actually going there as a raw canvas and I was anxious, concerned and worried,” she says. “It was a bold step and I questioned myself about it throughout. But I wanted to learn. I wanted to learn not only art, but how to budget my stay, my living and daily expenses, how to be on my own.”
{{/usCountry}}Her lack of previous formal training worried her, of course. “I’m not a student of art; I don’t know my work really well. I was actually going there as a raw canvas and I was anxious, concerned and worried,” she says. “It was a bold step and I questioned myself about it throughout. But I wanted to learn. I wanted to learn not only art, but how to budget my stay, my living and daily expenses, how to be on my own.”
{{/usCountry}}As it turned out, Shefali as a student in her forties was very much like Shefali as a student in her teens. “I was a backbencher and would pass out in the art history classes,” she giggles.
But, Shefali the mother remained Shefali the mother. Since her kids, Aryaman, 19, and Maurya, 18, had been schooling in Spain because of their passion for soccer, she met them as often as she could, sometimes even popping into their apartment on campus to cook them maa ke haath ka khaana.
“They were in Salou, and they had Saturdays off, so they’d meet me in Barcelona and stay until Sunday evening,” recalls Shefali. “We were able to spend a lot of time outside of our comfort zone and that was a different feeling. But I had to feed them when I could!”
Heart talk
Shefali’s art, somehow, has always been tied with her kids. She began painting as a hobby when she enrolled her kids for art classes and realised she was so interested in what they were doing that she had no option but to join them in class. After that, she painted sporadically till she decided to head for Barcelona.
But even before she went to Barcelona, she was more than a hobbyist at her art. “Someone put my work across to an NGO group called Art for Concern that was holding an exhibition at Jehangir Art Gallery in Mumbai,” Shefali remembers. “Just the thought that my canvas would hang on the walls of Jehangir was huge for me! But it sold for more than a lakh. I was less concerned about the money, which was donated for a cause, than I was about the red dot on my painting. That was such a big deal!”
The painting Shefali had sold was a perspective in black, white and Persian blue. “The irony was that before this opportunity came my way, I had checked the waiting time to exhibit and they had said it was two or three years,” she says. “I also did a solo exhibition in 2017, but that tanked.”
Art imitating life
Members of Shefali’s family like some of her pieces, not all. That doesn’t bother her. What does bother her, however, is signing her work.
“I never wanted to sign my paintings because I think it messes up the look,” she says. “Vipul (Shah) once joked with me, ‘Please sign because when you’re dead, I’ll be able to sell these for a lot of money’.”
It was a joke, but Shefali says she never saw painting as an alternate career. “Art is very subjective and you don’t know if it will work or not,” she says. “Van Gogh’s paintings sold after he died. Tragic!”
Shefali’s down-to-earth attitude to the reality of perceptions of art might seem to be a lack of faith in her talent. In a way it is. But it also pushes her to do her best.
“Self-doubt will always remain, both for my painting and my acting. Every time I’m on set, I fear I’ll forget my lines as soon as the director calls out ‘Action’. I’m a wreck the first couple of days of a shoot, and that’s the same kind of fear I feel with every art piece I work on,” she explains. “I try to make it the best, but in art, there is no best! This questioning of myself pushes me to challenge myself each time, so it’s healthy.”
Also healthy is her attitude to fame. Shefali does not deny that her fame as an actor gives her an automatic audience for her art. “People give me attention because they recognise my work in another field,” she explains. “The Emmy award my web show Delhi Crime won last year had a big part to play in the sale of my paintings because people were interested in seeing what my art is like.”
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From HT Brunch, May 16, 2021
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